Novelty

…He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment. As he walked away from everything he ever knew. As the chills made his spine their rocking chair, something beautiful happened in that dark moment. Willing to go the distance, he traded on. His heart sunk in, his brain shut down. The rush of a warm summer’s breeze filled the air. Even the rain wasn’t coming that evening. It knew better. Just the cover of light clouds dancing on a dark evening sky represented it. Then the street lights came on.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to love past the rejection. The fresh breathe of the first evening star took away the first tear off his right eye. All around were fellow living things, oblivious of the raging emotions crawling their way up his veins. But at the end of each step forward, he felt a sense of relief. His undying spirit: fighting on against oblivion of loathness. To him, she symbolized perfection; an embodiment of richness in serene beauty and breathtaking curvaceous smile.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to breathe in darkness and see the beauty of light seeping through the cracks, to feed his empty basement of a heart. So that one day, he may look up with his teary eyes, and smile.

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That Tired Bench

In a clogged world full of noise, I just want to be immersed in silence.

The depressing, dark-filled silence.

For not many find beauty in it, but agony and pain.

But what is a world without pain?

Would we know love if there was no hate?

Would we know what it felt like being complete without being broken?

So in the middle of that evening, I sat on that silent bench.

As people rushed to catch their evening bus home,

Seemingly to their ever happy homes.

I knew why darkness was beautiful, at that moment.

I understood why the best of time comes after the worst.

It wasn’t the cold evening breeze that made itself felt,

But the promise of a beautiful starry night revealed itself on the horizon.

So I sat there, on a freezing bench, breathing in sets of fresh air with mounts of foulness in it.

It must have silently seen worse days pass by, as I had seen better days come to pass.

And grew tired of them.

Nothing is ever perfect, not even the sincerest smiles of the universe.

Its flaws ensure its beauty never runs dry.

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Sinking Thoughts

It had been just but a few years, pretty rough, in my thoughts.

People had been through hell and back, yet I felt I was in one.

I keep on wondering what really I had accomplished.

Was I an inspiration?

Was I a role model?

Was I but an older guy like the rest?

I had dreams, I wrote down goals.

The law of attraction they said.

Pray more they said.

So I dug deeper into a muddy pool of quick sand.

Only that I wasn’t sinking.

I was stuck, sinking in my own thoughts.

Every day, I sat on the same chair.

Every day, I realized the veracity of my life.

Every day, thoughts of my dreams reminded me of what I hadn’t accomplished.

A cycle of never-changing days, each day absolutely the same with the next.

I also had dreams, young and ambitious.

I went ahead and took on life, a desire to do everything.

A desire, filled with castle-air promises.

Time, ticking away slowly, is of the essence.

An escape is all I needed.

Leave my mind behind, sinking in its thoughts.

*telephone rings*

My thoughts pause, just for a while.

The voice on the other end reminds me of my obligation.

The voice reminds me of my big dreams that got narrower and specific.

The voice reminds me of my small yet of magnitude accomplishments.

The voice reminds me of a home I’m to go to.

The voice reminds me of family I’ve built up.

The voice is a constant reminder that I’m still on the highway of life.

A voice, reminding me that I’m young enough to dream,

But old enough to do what it takes, to accomplish them, step by step.

Voices, mature enough to show me what I’ve build so far.

They remind me, through my sinking thoughts.

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Promise Me

It’s the last day of a long year.

Nothing has changed, really, to the better.

It is as it was, the first day of the year.

I’m still drowning in my own tears.

I can’t stop because of a heavy heart.

Everything in between the year was as beautiful as the universe itself.

A universe drenched in darkness.

As promises echoed through my veins, my smile got rearranged.

My laughter replaced.

It felt like heaven, the darkness itself.

Somehow it turned into my light.

Something about drowning,

Something about hitting the bottom was liberating.

Something about it was unexplainable.

The only way after hitting the rock bottom, was up.

But I needed to take my rock bottom with me.

For it fired me into everything I was.

A new being, facing anything.

I yearned for everything in-between the darkness and light.

Ships sink for letting water in, not mine.

Sailing with the gods, to let the darkness in,

For it was the source of my light.

Until when I’m full, I’ll drown in her darkness, her broken promises.

And my broken pieces will be liberated into the light of the darkness.

But just promise me to pause, and enjoy the liberation.

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Dream About Me

I get lost in my dreams, but I never stop dreaming.

Thoughts remind me in the morning that I am still human, not an animal.

Painting faces, coloring worlds but my own.

Save the best for last.

Yet my dreams swim alone in dark rooms, pretending.

Pretending it’s a world full of city streets and candles.

I don’t know what happens inside them.

I wish I could.

I wish I did call my dreams, late in the night.

Talk endlessly, living in self-mirages.

I wish I could hear its voices, in my head.

Guiding path of wonder and illusion of what’s to come.

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Ropes

It comes rushing in.

Like a beacon of hope, of a cure long waited for.

Like the ranting, of a populous crowd, suddenly stops.

Like a warm ambiance suddenly being ice cold.

Like a tiger finally breathing in, holding on to a breath before jumping on a prey.

Nothing else seems to matter.

Like blood boiling to its temporal points.

It pounces on you.

It doesn’t matter if you called to it.

It just rushes in, devouring every inch of every nerve.

It is more than a want, less of a basic need.

You didn’t need it, but now that it’s there, you can’t seem to go your lifetime without.

You’re courageous, but it seems not to recognize that.

On a constant feeding, never ending to your limits.

Sweat builds up, bringing satisfactory feeling.

Of a position you wanted to be in for so long.

But there you were, next to the edge of the bridge.

Sure with each passing inhale, and exhale.

So you jump.

Sure enough you won’t fly, but trusting enough something will pull you up.

The rope tied to your body.

A security of assurance that once it’s over, it’ll be scrapped off your bucket list.

That rush of adrenaline, the moment you step of a bungee jump.

Realizations creep in, there’s a limit of how low can you go.

The sky has never been a limit.

The cringing limit of how low you can go before bouncing back up is the real question of your ropes to answer.

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Seconds of Composure

At times we feel lost,

Sometimes those times feel like forever,

Lost in a world that doesn’t exist,

Our minds wonder to the edges,

Edges of sharp bends and dark corners,

We can’t say we know where we’re going,

Neither can we say where we are,

And we hardly remember where we’re from,

All we know; our feet are moving,

Always moving forward,

Never stopping to catch a breath,

Scars that tell endless stories,

Of what once was,

But never is,

Scars of what tried to break us,

Trading all for mere seconds of composure,

We wish we had it all,

Of course we did,

Once upon a time,

They help with the insomniac nights,

Those tale-lies we lullaby to ourselves at night,

Anything goes to not stay awake in our dreams,

For they came with iced-darkness,

Yet no one knows who let it in,

The flash of shimmering light!

When we know,

We’ll open our dusty old war-room,

Ready to fight with the light,

In a battle that doesn’t exist!

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Last Night

Last night, you were still there.

Behind the curtain walls, you smiled a disastrously light smile.

Today, as I walked down the stairs, you reminded me.

That you of all would hardly leave, you could have guessed my outright reaction.

Tomorrow, the Sun will shine, brighter than any star embedded deep in your fiery eyes.

Last night, I dined on privileges far reaching beyond my short sightedness.

I was utterly abashed with my inexperience, but I kept up with my eager learning.

Today, the change was overwhelming.

Dismayed, I had to put two and two together as they unfolded.

Tomorrow, always brought with it hope of a continuity of a journey.

Until now, I held firmly to roads less traveled, are better traveled alone!

Last night, you took it upon yourself to change that.

You fascinated over how an eagle was perfectly embodied into its environment.

Today, i engrossed myself in how such a journey lead to its mightiness in the sky.

The very elements of nature, shaping its journey, nurturing its ways, bring it to survival.

Tomorrow, as lay my eyes upon your graced innovated beauty, a blue-star diamond.

A distorted notion, ends can never justify the means.

Last night, you stood high and mighty, infuriated!

By the needs that never come, I was to provide it all, insufficiency on my path.

Today, however!

Charged with allure of being amazed with what you exactly needed versus what you exactly had, were one of the same.

Tomorrow, those stars filled in her tenacious eyes, will resolute.

And hold me captive as I drop down on my knees.

Last night, you finally saw me.

In warmth, I was immersed in its purest form of oblivion, your beauty of a blue-star diamond.

Today, the world smiled back.

From within, it consumed, a consuming fire so beautiful and ugly, it raged.

Tomorrow was light hours away.

Ice, in a cold heart that sought warmth, not the fire that resided in your eyes drew me closer.

Last night, it was accelerated fire, leaving behind nothing but dark soot remains.

Once pale, now it was shielded by a thin veil of authentic truth.

Today, love licks it all off, the soot.

A blazing inferno of cold ice draws me closer, always and forever.

Tomorrow, all that would have survived after its staggering speeds was mine to discover.

What was once beautiful was an enigmatically mysterious beauty now.

Last night, I knew I had forever to be astounded by it.

I wasn’t to off to be blamed as it had finally come to be picked up by me.

Today, it’d go through your slithering soft maiden heart finger.

A symbolic two dolphin-encrusted blue-star diamond ring, to you, to let you be cautious that we needed forever!

Tomorrow would be another day.

Continuously learning to be learnt, of why you said yes, rather than No.

But men, just pause…

Last night, we discovered a something!

Of splitting it into two, each carried by the other, split into always and forever!

Today, was our always!

Always of never being apart!

Tomorrow was ours, forever!

Forever of always being together!

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Chased Down

Let me chase you down, because of your aesthetic beauty.

Into the Okavango wetlands, to the scorching sands of Sahara deserts.

Let me trace the inches of your soft, intriguing mind.

To be trapped, in between your thought and motions, your feelings and emotions.

Let me look, deep enough to the furthest stare in your galaxy eyes.

To be lost, then I would find that I’ve been searching for.

Let me see the angle, to which the universe comes at you,

Into our conscious talks, until I can’t talk no longer.

Let me be driven hours on end, constantly ready.

To be awake in your seeming less mind, traversing around adversities,

Let me see a flicker of hope, seeing it lighting up.

To be courageous enough, making conceptual leaps to discover new vastness,

Let me ride, just hard enough for you to cultivate me into your circle.

Into the long waits, of calming fires I knew nothing about.

Let me fill up an overflowing cup, showing how broken it is on its edges.

Yet none is lost, it’s serenity to be lost.

Let me feed, into your soul.

To be nourished, I just can’t admit that yet.

Let me chose when not to end our story, for you and them.

Into a continuity of a lifeless coexistence, when you lay awake like me!

Let me stay, me and you.

To save a story well written on your lips.

Let me, just, play the music a bit louder now that I can hear.

To remember about every time I’m in love with you.

Let me hold you tight, into the cold night.

To cheer on another night of letting it stay alive.

Not because we kill it each day, because it lives on for a better day.

Let me be here, with you, chasing it down.

Let me be here, till we make it thus far, till the ends of the earth,

If we ever find it!

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No…

I wouldn’t want to say no, not next to you.

Even as your hair drops majestically down your shoulders, it’d still be impossible.

A quick stolen glance towards your flickering dazed eyes, I just wouldn’t ever.

Beautiful, is the word, still injustice is done by its usage.

Battling with a brittle smile, your tenuous lips curve upwards as if to torment.

Dragging out the inner-most dying sparks, ready to ignite a soul yearning.

The world knew, a lot of your smiles in deep seasons, but knew nothing of your tears in light seasons.

So life thought it funny, if I sat across the room, leaving chunks of traces.

Enough for me to relinquish each no,

You see, it was all in the yeses, never the nos.

You see, it was all in the second wind, never the first wind.

So before I say my no, let me run,

Fast enough on the first wind to catch the second!

All the pain that comes with it, being ready is paramount.

The stronger I’ll get, the gentler the no will be.

You’ll hear the glorified No, but never understand the sacrifice behind it.

Maybe we both needed it, to make a difference in this Life, separately.

Living in a corrupted world that led us to believe, captured us by faith.

Always waiting for something from an outside pool, just to be happy!

You’ll be broken, I’ll be limping, and we’ll teach each other how to live.

After that No!

Sometimes being away is our sole responsibility, great things always tend to happen,

Eventually!

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