Ropes

It comes rushing in.

Like a beacon of hope, of a cure long waited for.

Like the ranting, of a populous crowd, suddenly stops.

Like a warm ambiance suddenly being ice cold.

Like a tiger finally breathing in, holding on to a breath before jumping on a prey.

Nothing else seems to matter.

Like blood boiling to its temporal points.

It pounces on you.

It doesn’t matter if you called to it.

It just rushes in, devouring every inch of every nerve.

It is more than a want, less of a basic need.

You didn’t need it, but now that it’s there, you can’t seem to go your lifetime without.

You’re courageous, but it seems not to recognize that.

On a constant feeding, never ending to your limits.

Sweat builds up, bringing satisfactory feeling.

Of a position you wanted to be in for so long.

But there you were, next to the edge of the bridge.

Sure with each passing inhale, and exhale.

So you jump.

Sure enough you won’t fly, but trusting enough something will pull you up.

The rope tied to your body.

A security of assurance that once it’s over, it’ll be scrapped off your bucket list.

That rush of adrenaline, the moment you step of a bungee jump.

Realizations creep in, there’s a limit of how low can you go.

The sky has never been a limit.

The cringing limit of how low you can go before bouncing back up is the real question of your ropes to answer.

ropes

 

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Walkway To His Heaven

“I still remember the day I left him.

It was cold.

Not your typical cold weather, but my heart was cold.

Full of anger and possibilities of fun, I convinced myself he didn’t need me.

He didn’t need my loved-filled heart.

He needed to blossom.

And the only way was if he didn’t have my baggage.

You see, my beauty and think what baggage would I possibly have?

My constant nagging, my constant drinking, my constant shopping, my constant male friends!

You see, my heart was cold, and full of fun visions.

His was warm, and full of visions.

Even constant calls wasn’t enough, he still texted, cared, loved me.

But I didn’t need him, apart from the occasional steams of passions.

He was amazing, I wasn’t.

He said I was 99% angel and cared less of the 1% devil.

I said he should worry. The 1% was part of each of the 99% angel.

He forgave my young heart even when I indulged deeper into pleasures.

I needed more roughness around the steamy edges.

Then, I saw him walk by the other day!

Lovely strides I thought.

The kinds that make you want with desire.

Then a lady approached him, simple to the eye, sophisticated to the mind.

I never saw any beauty that matched to hers; I’m still impressed, to date.

She hugged him, kissed him lightly on his soft lips; I remember their taste so vividly.

How I wish I had them next to my neck, breathing gentle warm air as he talks about his world.

I was destroyed, crumbled from within.

She, all the while carried a small child, seemingly theirs.

My heart grew softer, warmer.

A tear dropped right out of his heaven’s gates.

Yes, he called my eyes the gates to a walkway to his heaven.

I turned around, and walked away to the path I came with.

Holding on tightly to a shopping bag filled with a drunk’s shopping.

A faint whisper of a child calling him daddy broke my heart.

Carried by the winds, to torment me I presumed.

It broke, to a thousand pieces.

I guess that’s how he felt when I left.”

walking_away

Seconds of Composure

At times we feel lost,

Sometimes those times feel like forever,

Lost in a world that doesn’t exist,

Our minds wonder to the edges,

Edges of sharp bends and dark corners,

We can’t say we know where we’re going,

Neither can we say where we are,

And we hardly remember where we’re from,

All we know; our feet are moving,

Always moving forward,

Never stopping to catch a breath,

Scars that tell endless stories,

Of what once was,

But never is,

Scars of what tried to break us,

Trading all for mere seconds of composure,

We wish we had it all,

Of course we did,

Once upon a time,

They help with the insomniac nights,

Those tale-lies we lullaby to ourselves at night,

Anything goes to not stay awake in our dreams,

For they came with iced-darkness,

Yet no one knows who let it in,

The flash of shimmering light!

When we know,

We’ll open our dusty old war-room,

Ready to fight with the light,

In a battle that doesn’t exist!

light-009.jpg

I Wonder

If time is endless; I wonder why we have deadlines.

If love is priceless; I wonder why it needs more than body and soul.

I wonder why the worst things happen before the best.

I wonder why it is a bleak world to bravest at heart.

If life was simple, the bravest would have a bright future without darkness in the present.

If time is endless; I wonder how the last clock will tick.

If love is priceless; I wonder how it touches the poor and rich together.

I wonder how two souls become one.

I wonder how love is measured.

Life is simple; everyone loves someone who loves someone who hates someone.

If love is describable; I wonder how you would explain the smell of rain or the feeling of forever.

I wonder how you could hold onto forever with a single moment of love.

I wonder how a broken heart could be brave enough to love, again.

If the heart truly breaks, I wonder why someone would be willing to mend it for you.

If life was simple, one would give their heart endless time, to heal.

Because they’d heal the one they are holding onto in their hand.

I wonder how fairy tales bring life to dreams.

I wonder where our dreams collide with our realities.

I wonder what would be satisfactory in the long run;

Loving someone forever…

Or

Loving them every single day of forever…

Either way, I’ll always wonder…

Word-Forever

Missing The Moments

I want to miss the nights that turned into day.

I want to miss the words that turned into songs.

I want to miss the cries that turned into laughter.

I want to miss the eyes that turned red.

I want to miss the ones that turned cruel.

I want to miss the sunrise that turned into sunset.

I want to miss seeing the mandarin that turned away from its path to a better pond.

I want to miss, every result of any action.

I want to miss all that, but never the in-between.

Let me not miss the magic that happens between the moments, please!

Let me not miss the majestic walk of a Mandarin down its path, please!

Let me not miss the breathtaking magic that happens in a day, in-between the sunrises and sunsets, please!

Let me not miss the precious moments of failing to understand how cruelty comes into being, please!

Let me not miss the beauty of starry eyes, underneath painful tears, please!

Let me not miss the magic of heavy hearts being brightened up to be as velvety as a white rose, please!

Let me not miss the long nights that signify the birth origin of the greatest songs to ever play in the hearts of men and women, please!

Let me not miss the amazing nights that give way to clear brighter days, please!

Let me have a grateful heart, please!

missing the moments

To My Friend

An open letter to my dear friend who wants to commit suicide.

Hallo human,

They say it’s courteous to introduce yourself. But I’m guessing in this instance it’s not necessary because we have interacted in some way, which is why i am penning this in the first place.

Pardon me, but i will probably apologize, too much.

I’m sorry i have not been there for you. At times i just get caught up, you know, in my own my battles i forget you need me.

I’m sorry my phone is off and your calls go unanswered, most times when you need me.

I would lie and say i was asleep, but maybe i was just getting love or wasted. Or I just didn’t want to talk to anyone.

You might want to ask me why I didn’t call back, so please don’t! As saying i forgot will suck!

I ‘m sorry you want out.

I ‘m sorry life is just cruel and you can’t deal.

Trust me; i know what that is like.

Sorry your partner abuses you!

Sorry your partner cheated!

Sorry you do everything for them but they keep taking you for granted.

Sorry no one likes you.

Sorry your friends never see you.

Sorry I suck and keep forgetting about you.

I ‘m SORRY for everything, I really am.

But then again, I know you can put that razor down!

You can flush, all pills or whatever poison fancies you want to ingest, down the toilet.

Not many people can go through what you have.

I applaud you honey. And most of all, we have a come a long way, TOGETHER.

Both you and me. . . . So please don’t leave me? I know i am not your best friend or friend. You have neither!

I know i am just one of these inked girls on the Internet, but i actually get your pain.

You know i do.

So please stay with me . . . Don’t do it.

Nothing lasts forever! And so your pain will vanish.

 

With love,

Your Dear Friend.sad-crying

 

Frail Heart

My eyes stare into the horizon, quick to understand what life is not.

The sound of my frail heart, beating, to assure me of a life being lived,

Against the rushing winds, going nowhere fast!

I have my journey to live out, every step to step on.

No one wants to be ripples in a dying out pond, especially my heart.

It wants to live, a fulfilling life full of smiles and laugher.

A life full of purpose, and bittersweet execution of ideas well thought of.

Those shivering moments, of standing against the wind, is what life is about.

Those shivering moments, of gathering enough thresholds, is what life is about.

I want to take off, even when I stand in these gashing winds.

Get enough thresholds to get to the ever-ending skies.

My direction will be dealt with, once in the skies.

That yearns, to be oblivious of anything around you.

A need to soar the limitless skies, unbound by hate or love!

Nothing but the sound of my frail heart pushing me to go higher, faster!

I’m not sick, but sickness is my disease.

Sickness of always flying better, remembering to forget I was but a helpless child.

Knowing nothing but living life, now it’s just a matter of the moments that take my breath.

For the long days, and nights, I wait silently as the winds blow.

Silently watching the horizon, listening closely to the cries of my heart,

In another life, I would have been in the air force, or a pilot,

But this is it, this is my life, I will be just me.

Not letting my life be what it would be, but!

Let me take a role, together with the universe far in the horizon, to shape what is mine.

Tempting fate to play my cards right, because my frail heart knows there are no right cards.

For now, I just have a frail heart, beating, assuring me of a life that will be well lived.broken heart

Solitude Earphones

Tonight he writes with his earphones off, even with continuous prose. Her end went silently numb, off any sound. It was that time of their conversations again, he thought wisely, leaving the unsaid unspoken. Glued to his keyboard, his fingers start the grueling task of laying down one letter after the other in quick succession. A faint knock penetrated through the cracks running vertically down the white wooden door. The continuous flow of thought collapsed suddenly. He had no reason to not wear his solitude earphones, why didn’t he today?

She beat herself up, constantly, on the verge of destroying what was for what could be. She grew accustomed to her numbness whenever he was involved. He stirred up conversations that ran deep within her. Text after text his profound deep nature lured her in the vast depths of his oceanic mind. So she flipped a coin, hoping next to hope that it would be a deterrent enough not to look at what could be. Yet the coin itself proved her wrong. It wanted her to look at the endless possibility of a battle won. She was the outspoken one of the two, though the intensity of his laid back introversive personality was too much of a challenge. She needed to conquer his greatest possession, his heart. The shoes fit perfectly as she locked her room and headed over to his.

The universe gave them the floor and the beat. They were just luck-oriented to find each other in the dance-floor. It didn’t matter that they were not lovers, but what the friendship sparked in-between was the story to be told. They felt alive, they believed in something finally. They didn’t settle for less, neither did they crave for the unattainable. She loved his depth of view, the undying spark of seeing a world full of beautiful souls. All in different colors, angles. It was just beautiful. He loved her expressions, full of life and vibrations. How her sense of direction and coordination grasped his attention.

There she was, knocking hesitantly on his door; ready to find the perfect excuse to turn and walk away. She had no reason to stand there; he had no obligation to let her in so late in the night. He trembled as his eyes interlocked with hers. Slightly shorter than him, she shivered in the night cold. His mind, recovering from the lost flow of thoughts relapsed again. Tumbled down thoughts, all he could gather was to usher her in with a swing of his hand to welcome her. Actions! That was all she wanted, his actions. As she stepped in to hug him, he reached out for her maiden lips, to softly whisper the unspoken words, melting her well calculated words and thoughts she came with.

He thanked the universe for not letting him wear his earphones tonight. The faint knock would have journeyed back with her to her room were it not for his quick answer.

 

As he closed the door behind her, another opened right in-front of their eyes.

animated earphones

The Last Hello

Rain comes racing down, unclear of its guiding paths.

Great souls convicted by will, them? Convicted by Mother Nature!

Roaring of gods, thunder strikes, rage inside the dark clouds.

Lightening burning through the night skies, without a plan,

Just but one goal, kissing the ground, fast.

Coming across a willow field, matching on in-between its trees,

You played to win, and no amount of life lessons taught you otherwise.

Not even the raging drops, to you it was challenge you needed to win.

Who wins, against a god?

Guided on live set, that whatever piece fell in place today, it was its place.

The night was cold, terrible things happened on its account.

Then the sense of disparity dawned, it meant beautiful things happened just as much!

So why were you so afraid, with every roar that drove in a chilling shiver?

Telling of a tale only you understood.

Amazing how sure you were of everything but!

She said you should move on, love someone new.

Nobody ever means to be hurt again, so you loved her in a new way.

To save yourself still, you loved yourself now, you’ll become that someone.

With each god’s strike, came the flashing lightening, bringing day before your eyes.

The night will be gone, ready to come back again.

The aching aftermath, will be seen, but not now.

For now, the runaway raindrops, deeply trace outlines of your pieces.

That will be placed differently, becoming a new you, to love.

For now, the walk is too tiring not to stop.

Carefully caring for your eyes, without inviting back the other drops!

A constant battle, as the roaring gods finish up, looms up.

Suddenly your knees, too weak to carry the heaviness, give up.

Cold air, rushing in your nostrils, reminds you of the hours.

Staring coldly into the night, the last of the burning lightning strikes through the horizon,

Finding strength, to carry yourself on, until her window was in your horizon,

The last drizzles, reminding you that you are alone, reminding you of the bunch your hands crunched on.

A last goodbye to her, as she opened the door for a hello!

For what it was worth, blocking thoughts of how you met, the flower shop.

While the night sobered up, she needed you to stay, even as her staggering words wanted you to leave.

How could you? On such a cold night, only hate was to be swallowed.

She grabbed your frozen hand relieving it from the little bunch of yellow spring roses.

Both sitting down on the porch, she drove herself underneath her place inside your arm.

Unsettled awareness of her soft nature crept in, just as Mother Nature was after her frenzy.

Things would be different, pieces placed differently,

A different hello, was the last hello you needed!

sad

Last Night

Last night, you were still there.

Behind the curtain walls, you smiled a disastrously light smile.

Today, as I walked down the stairs, you reminded me.

That you of all would hardly leave, you could have guessed my outright reaction.

Tomorrow, the Sun will shine, brighter than any star embedded deep in your fiery eyes.

Last night, I dined on privileges far reaching beyond my short sightedness.

I was utterly abashed with my inexperience, but I kept up with my eager learning.

Today, the change was overwhelming.

Dismayed, I had to put two and two together as they unfolded.

Tomorrow, always brought with it hope of a continuity of a journey.

Until now, I held firmly to roads less traveled, are better traveled alone!

Last night, you took it upon yourself to change that.

You fascinated over how an eagle was perfectly embodied into its environment.

Today, i engrossed myself in how such a journey lead to its mightiness in the sky.

The very elements of nature, shaping its journey, nurturing its ways, bring it to survival.

Tomorrow, as lay my eyes upon your graced innovated beauty, a blue-star diamond.

A distorted notion, ends can never justify the means.

Last night, you stood high and mighty, infuriated!

By the needs that never come, I was to provide it all, insufficiency on my path.

Today, however!

Charged with allure of being amazed with what you exactly needed versus what you exactly had, were one of the same.

Tomorrow, those stars filled in her tenacious eyes, will resolute.

And hold me captive as I drop down on my knees.

Last night, you finally saw me.

In warmth, I was immersed in its purest form of oblivion, your beauty of a blue-star diamond.

Today, the world smiled back.

From within, it consumed, a consuming fire so beautiful and ugly, it raged.

Tomorrow was light hours away.

Ice, in a cold heart that sought warmth, not the fire that resided in your eyes drew me closer.

Last night, it was accelerated fire, leaving behind nothing but dark soot remains.

Once pale, now it was shielded by a thin veil of authentic truth.

Today, love licks it all off, the soot.

A blazing inferno of cold ice draws me closer, always and forever.

Tomorrow, all that would have survived after its staggering speeds was mine to discover.

What was once beautiful was an enigmatically mysterious beauty now.

Last night, I knew I had forever to be astounded by it.

I wasn’t to off to be blamed as it had finally come to be picked up by me.

Today, it’d go through your slithering soft maiden heart finger.

A symbolic two dolphin-encrusted blue-star diamond ring, to you, to let you be cautious that we needed forever!

Tomorrow would be another day.

Continuously learning to be learnt, of why you said yes, rather than No.

But men, just pause…

Last night, we discovered a something!

Of splitting it into two, each carried by the other, split into always and forever!

Today, was our always!

Always of never being apart!

Tomorrow was ours, forever!

Forever of always being together!

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