Seconds of Composure

At times we feel lost,

Sometimes those times feel like forever,

Lost in a world that doesn’t exist,

Our minds wonder to the edges,

Edges of sharp bends and dark corners,

We can’t say we know where we’re going,

Neither can we say where we are,

And we hardly remember where we’re from,

All we know; our feet are moving,

Always moving forward,

Never stopping to catch a breath,

Scars that tell endless stories,

Of what once was,

But never is,

Scars of what tried to break us,

Trading all for mere seconds of composure,

We wish we had it all,

Of course we did,

Once upon a time,

They help with the insomniac nights,

Those tale-lies we lullaby to ourselves at night,

Anything goes to not stay awake in our dreams,

For they came with iced-darkness,

Yet no one knows who let it in,

The flash of shimmering light!

When we know,

We’ll open our dusty old war-room,

Ready to fight with the light,

In a battle that doesn’t exist!

light-009.jpg

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I Wonder

If time is endless; I wonder why we have deadlines.

If love is priceless; I wonder why it needs more than body and soul.

I wonder why the worst things happen before the best.

I wonder why it is a bleak world to bravest at heart.

If life was simple, the bravest would have a bright future without darkness in the present.

If time is endless; I wonder how the last clock will tick.

If love is priceless; I wonder how it touches the poor and rich together.

I wonder how two souls become one.

I wonder how love is measured.

Life is simple; everyone loves someone who loves someone who hates someone.

If love is describable; I wonder how you would explain the smell of rain or the feeling of forever.

I wonder how you could hold onto forever with a single moment of love.

I wonder how a broken heart could be brave enough to love, again.

If the heart truly breaks, I wonder why someone would be willing to mend it for you.

If life was simple, one would give their heart endless time, to heal.

Because they’d heal the one they are holding onto in their hand.

I wonder how fairy tales bring life to dreams.

I wonder where our dreams collide with our realities.

I wonder what would be satisfactory in the long run;

Loving someone forever…

Or

Loving them every single day of forever…

Either way, I’ll always wonder…

Word-Forever

His Sister

Everyone thought he had it, everything everyone ever wanted.

Blessed beyond, a life full of perfection.

But only he knew of his crumbling world, piece by piece.

His father was but a business mogul, a self-proclaimed self-made.

The mother, standing audaciously courts, human rights activist, the force to reckon with.

Life made sure he was the only child, as spoilt as they came, they all thought.

Yet in their perfect house full of dark corners, the demons resided, lurking, waiting, thriving in the shadows.

The sister, no more, couldn’t fight any longer, she had to go to a better place were her words.

Words that were scribbled deep in her arms.

A father engulfed in rage, and violence towards his better or worse.

Spending her nights, drowning sorrows, and alcohol.

Their father eager to teach life lessons if mouths were opened to the public.

He too indulged, in his mother’s quest.

And he sat there that evening, waking up from a life-crippling “coma”.

He needed to know what he lived for, what gave him the renewed hope of life.

The sunset came early, he tears made a final sunset down his face.

It was his time, to save himself.

His sister’s smile flashed before his clogged eyes, ready to remind him of what she’s to give him now.

A chance to live right, a choice to build well, a change that would start with him.

sister

She’s Ready, Again.

She wants, to build her wings again, and again.

The tailored-soft touches running on her bare skin, again.

A vibrant heart it was, yearning to be held, again.

She didn’t mind it took her long, her patience paid off, again.

What mattered was her time came, to stretch out her wings, again.

Her soul burnt in its own fire, calmed down by his mere presence, again.

The masterpiece of creations was their ultimate desire, again.

He took his time, in every muscle, with every feather, to get her ready, again.

A stare so deep, it held them steady, each breath came with courage to fly, again.

Goosebumps replaced her maiden skin; she’ll no longer be alone, again.

A heart that need a key, but she wasn’t ready to search, again.

Little not knowing that he saw it, she was the key, again.

Not to unlock another’s heart, but to unlock her true nature, again.

Releasing a much waited upon energy, feeding the earth with rains, again.

Eyes filled water, to rain down her face, again.

They awakened their minds’ desires, yet she needed to see it on her own first, again.

Tired of running, she was tired of holding onto deadweight, again and again.

Their lips locked, she released herself from her misery, again.

She won, in the darkness, again.

Getting there at the exact moment was perfect, she reminded herself, again.

His hand slid down her waist, grabbing onto her, again.

A moment’s worth of feeling, cherished now, and again.

Her wings spread across the distance, eager to scurry the skies yet again.

Far more than yearning of his lips, his love, the urge to fly with him rose, again.

Against all odds!

Against all wars!

Against all breaking points!

Against all her past!

Her future was right there with them, ready to be nurtured, ready to be flown with them.

She was ready to step off the mountain, and fly, again!

broken wings

Missing The Moments

I want to miss the nights that turned into day.

I want to miss the words that turned into songs.

I want to miss the cries that turned into laughter.

I want to miss the eyes that turned red.

I want to miss the ones that turned cruel.

I want to miss the sunrise that turned into sunset.

I want to miss seeing the mandarin that turned away from its path to a better pond.

I want to miss, every result of any action.

I want to miss all that, but never the in-between.

Let me not miss the magic that happens between the moments, please!

Let me not miss the majestic walk of a Mandarin down its path, please!

Let me not miss the breathtaking magic that happens in a day, in-between the sunrises and sunsets, please!

Let me not miss the precious moments of failing to understand how cruelty comes into being, please!

Let me not miss the beauty of starry eyes, underneath painful tears, please!

Let me not miss the magic of heavy hearts being brightened up to be as velvety as a white rose, please!

Let me not miss the long nights that signify the birth origin of the greatest songs to ever play in the hearts of men and women, please!

Let me not miss the amazing nights that give way to clear brighter days, please!

Let me have a grateful heart, please!

missing the moments

To My Friend

An open letter to my dear friend who wants to commit suicide.

Hallo human,

They say it’s courteous to introduce yourself. But I’m guessing in this instance it’s not necessary because we have interacted in some way, which is why i am penning this in the first place.

Pardon me, but i will probably apologize, too much.

I’m sorry i have not been there for you. At times i just get caught up, you know, in my own my battles i forget you need me.

I’m sorry my phone is off and your calls go unanswered, most times when you need me.

I would lie and say i was asleep, but maybe i was just getting love or wasted. Or I just didn’t want to talk to anyone.

You might want to ask me why I didn’t call back, so please don’t! As saying i forgot will suck!

I ‘m sorry you want out.

I ‘m sorry life is just cruel and you can’t deal.

Trust me; i know what that is like.

Sorry your partner abuses you!

Sorry your partner cheated!

Sorry you do everything for them but they keep taking you for granted.

Sorry no one likes you.

Sorry your friends never see you.

Sorry I suck and keep forgetting about you.

I ‘m SORRY for everything, I really am.

But then again, I know you can put that razor down!

You can flush, all pills or whatever poison fancies you want to ingest, down the toilet.

Not many people can go through what you have.

I applaud you honey. And most of all, we have a come a long way, TOGETHER.

Both you and me. . . . So please don’t leave me? I know i am not your best friend or friend. You have neither!

I know i am just one of these inked girls on the Internet, but i actually get your pain.

You know i do.

So please stay with me . . . Don’t do it.

Nothing lasts forever! And so your pain will vanish.

 

With love,

Your Dear Friend.sad-crying

 

Frail Heart

My eyes stare into the horizon, quick to understand what life is not.

The sound of my frail heart, beating, to assure me of a life being lived,

Against the rushing winds, going nowhere fast!

I have my journey to live out, every step to step on.

No one wants to be ripples in a dying out pond, especially my heart.

It wants to live, a fulfilling life full of smiles and laugher.

A life full of purpose, and bittersweet execution of ideas well thought of.

Those shivering moments, of standing against the wind, is what life is about.

Those shivering moments, of gathering enough thresholds, is what life is about.

I want to take off, even when I stand in these gashing winds.

Get enough thresholds to get to the ever-ending skies.

My direction will be dealt with, once in the skies.

That yearns, to be oblivious of anything around you.

A need to soar the limitless skies, unbound by hate or love!

Nothing but the sound of my frail heart pushing me to go higher, faster!

I’m not sick, but sickness is my disease.

Sickness of always flying better, remembering to forget I was but a helpless child.

Knowing nothing but living life, now it’s just a matter of the moments that take my breath.

For the long days, and nights, I wait silently as the winds blow.

Silently watching the horizon, listening closely to the cries of my heart,

In another life, I would have been in the air force, or a pilot,

But this is it, this is my life, I will be just me.

Not letting my life be what it would be, but!

Let me take a role, together with the universe far in the horizon, to shape what is mine.

Tempting fate to play my cards right, because my frail heart knows there are no right cards.

For now, I just have a frail heart, beating, assuring me of a life that will be well lived.broken heart

Solitude Earphones

Tonight he writes with his earphones off, even with continuous prose. Her end went silently numb, off any sound. It was that time of their conversations again, he thought wisely, leaving the unsaid unspoken. Glued to his keyboard, his fingers start the grueling task of laying down one letter after the other in quick succession. A faint knock penetrated through the cracks running vertically down the white wooden door. The continuous flow of thought collapsed suddenly. He had no reason to not wear his solitude earphones, why didn’t he today?

She beat herself up, constantly, on the verge of destroying what was for what could be. She grew accustomed to her numbness whenever he was involved. He stirred up conversations that ran deep within her. Text after text his profound deep nature lured her in the vast depths of his oceanic mind. So she flipped a coin, hoping next to hope that it would be a deterrent enough not to look at what could be. Yet the coin itself proved her wrong. It wanted her to look at the endless possibility of a battle won. She was the outspoken one of the two, though the intensity of his laid back introversive personality was too much of a challenge. She needed to conquer his greatest possession, his heart. The shoes fit perfectly as she locked her room and headed over to his.

The universe gave them the floor and the beat. They were just luck-oriented to find each other in the dance-floor. It didn’t matter that they were not lovers, but what the friendship sparked in-between was the story to be told. They felt alive, they believed in something finally. They didn’t settle for less, neither did they crave for the unattainable. She loved his depth of view, the undying spark of seeing a world full of beautiful souls. All in different colors, angles. It was just beautiful. He loved her expressions, full of life and vibrations. How her sense of direction and coordination grasped his attention.

There she was, knocking hesitantly on his door; ready to find the perfect excuse to turn and walk away. She had no reason to stand there; he had no obligation to let her in so late in the night. He trembled as his eyes interlocked with hers. Slightly shorter than him, she shivered in the night cold. His mind, recovering from the lost flow of thoughts relapsed again. Tumbled down thoughts, all he could gather was to usher her in with a swing of his hand to welcome her. Actions! That was all she wanted, his actions. As she stepped in to hug him, he reached out for her maiden lips, to softly whisper the unspoken words, melting her well calculated words and thoughts she came with.

He thanked the universe for not letting him wear his earphones tonight. The faint knock would have journeyed back with her to her room were it not for his quick answer.

 

As he closed the door behind her, another opened right in-front of their eyes.

animated earphones

The Last Hello

Rain comes racing down, unclear of its guiding paths.

Great souls convicted by will, them? Convicted by Mother Nature!

Roaring of gods, thunder strikes, rage inside the dark clouds.

Lightening burning through the night skies, without a plan,

Just but one goal, kissing the ground, fast.

Coming across a willow field, matching on in-between its trees,

You played to win, and no amount of life lessons taught you otherwise.

Not even the raging drops, to you it was challenge you needed to win.

Who wins, against a god?

Guided on live set, that whatever piece fell in place today, it was its place.

The night was cold, terrible things happened on its account.

Then the sense of disparity dawned, it meant beautiful things happened just as much!

So why were you so afraid, with every roar that drove in a chilling shiver?

Telling of a tale only you understood.

Amazing how sure you were of everything but!

She said you should move on, love someone new.

Nobody ever means to be hurt again, so you loved her in a new way.

To save yourself still, you loved yourself now, you’ll become that someone.

With each god’s strike, came the flashing lightening, bringing day before your eyes.

The night will be gone, ready to come back again.

The aching aftermath, will be seen, but not now.

For now, the runaway raindrops, deeply trace outlines of your pieces.

That will be placed differently, becoming a new you, to love.

For now, the walk is too tiring not to stop.

Carefully caring for your eyes, without inviting back the other drops!

A constant battle, as the roaring gods finish up, looms up.

Suddenly your knees, too weak to carry the heaviness, give up.

Cold air, rushing in your nostrils, reminds you of the hours.

Staring coldly into the night, the last of the burning lightning strikes through the horizon,

Finding strength, to carry yourself on, until her window was in your horizon,

The last drizzles, reminding you that you are alone, reminding you of the bunch your hands crunched on.

A last goodbye to her, as she opened the door for a hello!

For what it was worth, blocking thoughts of how you met, the flower shop.

While the night sobered up, she needed you to stay, even as her staggering words wanted you to leave.

How could you? On such a cold night, only hate was to be swallowed.

She grabbed your frozen hand relieving it from the little bunch of yellow spring roses.

Both sitting down on the porch, she drove herself underneath her place inside your arm.

Unsettled awareness of her soft nature crept in, just as Mother Nature was after her frenzy.

Things would be different, pieces placed differently,

A different hello, was the last hello you needed!

sad

Chased Down

Let me chase you down, because of your aesthetic beauty.

Into the Okavango wetlands, to the scorching sands of Sahara deserts.

Let me trace the inches of your soft, intriguing mind.

To be trapped, in between your thought and motions, your feelings and emotions.

Let me look, deep enough to the furthest stare in your galaxy eyes.

To be lost, then I would find that I’ve been searching for.

Let me see the angle, to which the universe comes at you,

Into our conscious talks, until I can’t talk no longer.

Let me be driven hours on end, constantly ready.

To be awake in your seeming less mind, traversing around adversities,

Let me see a flicker of hope, seeing it lighting up.

To be courageous enough, making conceptual leaps to discover new vastness,

Let me ride, just hard enough for you to cultivate me into your circle.

Into the long waits, of calming fires I knew nothing about.

Let me fill up an overflowing cup, showing how broken it is on its edges.

Yet none is lost, it’s serenity to be lost.

Let me feed, into your soul.

To be nourished, I just can’t admit that yet.

Let me chose when not to end our story, for you and them.

Into a continuity of a lifeless coexistence, when you lay awake like me!

Let me stay, me and you.

To save a story well written on your lips.

Let me, just, play the music a bit louder now that I can hear.

To remember about every time I’m in love with you.

Let me hold you tight, into the cold night.

To cheer on another night of letting it stay alive.

Not because we kill it each day, because it lives on for a better day.

Let me be here, with you, chasing it down.

Let me be here, till we make it thus far, till the ends of the earth,

If we ever find it!

running

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