In-Between

It’s the moments in-between.

To realize everything is in the angles.

That the destination is not as important as the journey.

In the journey, the ups, the downs, the in-betweens,

You get to find paths you knew nothing about.

You get to wonder in depths that fill you up.

You get engulfed in love without an end.

You get to control everything that’s uncontrollable.

Sometimes you stop.

Sometimes you miss a sign.

Sometimes you miss a turn.

Sometimes you get an empty tank.

But everything that you miss, gets you right where you wanted to be.

The more you grow the more you understand the destination is in all the seconds of the journey.

So in-between the laughs, breathe.

So in-between the cries, breathe.

So in-between the falling in love, breathe.

So in-between the stares, breathe.

So in-between the silence, breathe.

So let life take your breath away in simple things.

Like the smell of rain, like the sight of a flying bird.

So build your journey as you go, step by step.

Who said a laugh can’t lead you to greatness.

Who said a cry can’t create a path of success.

Who said falling in love can’t set the tempo of going up in life.

Who said the stares can’t show you the road to your next victory.

Who said silence can’t create loud miracles.

So in-between each moment, don’t forget the seconds are long enough for you to breathe!

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Dream About Me

I get lost in my dreams, but I never stop dreaming.

Thoughts remind me in the morning that I am still human, not an animal.

Painting faces, coloring worlds but my own.

Save the best for last.

Yet my dreams swim alone in dark rooms, pretending.

Pretending it’s a world full of city streets and candles.

I don’t know what happens inside them.

I wish I could.

I wish I did call my dreams, late in the night.

Talk endlessly, living in self-mirages.

I wish I could hear its voices, in my head.

Guiding path of wonder and illusion of what’s to come.

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Shooting Stars

I wish I believed in shooting stars.

Maybe then I’d be living my fantasy.

Only then could I understand.

Why the sky is full of stars, to be wished upon.

I wish I lived in the moments.

Maybe then I’d realize how life sets you apart to your own journey.

I wish I forced my limits to the sky.

Maybe then I would understand what it’s like to be airborne.

I wish I jumped to opportunities.

Maybe then I’d have been far away living my dreams.

I wish life was unfair.

Maybe then I’d have accepted how fair it in its existence.

Life is a journey.

Full of wishes set out free into the universe.

At the end of every sunset, it doesn’t matter where I’m going or where I am.

All that is brought forth into the horizon in each sunrise is the importance.

An importance of whether or not I keep on moving.

The distance in-between serves as a reminder.

A reminder to keep on wishing, to keep on moving, to keep on building, to keep on growing!

After it’s all said and done, nothing will change how it began.

As a wish!

I’ve been drowned in so many wishes, but no regrets in the end.

Life turns out better than the wish of my wishes, every day.

Everyday, the stars keep on shooting.

So why regret and the sky is full of them?

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Young Man, I’m Just Like You

Dear Young Man,

Let’s get something straight first. I’m not a role model yet, neither am I a mentor, but I can give you something worth thinking over for a minute that will juggle up your mental acuity.

I never had a mentor at an earlier stage, sadly. Yet as man, we need one, as much as our counterparts’ need. So nobody told me why it was wrong to steal exams. No one told me why it was wrong to watch pornography. Heck, no one told me why it was wrong to cheat in a relationship. No one taught me why it was important to treat others right. No one believed I needed the guidance to put on a tie at specific functions, well because society needed that. No one told me why it was wrong to lie. Nobody taught me why I had to pull my pants up. No one took their time to ask me why I was doing the things I was doing. Nobody took their time to talk sense into me through their actions and not words.

A lot of focus has been shifted to the women over the past few decades, but don’t forget that meant a whole generation of young men was left on the side lines, to fend for themselves. So young man, believe it when I say I’ve been through the struggles. It has been real. It has been tough. It gets tougher each day being a young man in the streets. Everyone predisposed of how a young man should and shouldn’t carry himself. Everyone predisposed of how a young man should treat a woman. But no one out there to personally teach us why.

Truth of the matter is young men need to be nurtured. They need to be called to action. To be taught the importance of engaging in positive attributes. Young men need somebody somewhere with conviction to light up their candles as they themselves struggle to do it on their own. We don’t need to be seeing how older men park their big cars in-front of younger women’s bedsitter. Because 10 years from now, the same lady would be a wife to the same young man who’ll believe in what he saw and carry it out as well. We don’t need to be seeing how older men embezzle funds and make fortunes only to be called business moguls and heroes. Because 10 years from now, they will be doing the exact same thing they saw.

So young man, I tell you this for free. Go out there, read as many books as you can. Knowledge broadens your mind, and empties you of ignorance. Take part in empowerment forums for your growth, even it includes the weekends. Don’t worry about it cutting your social life; have it in small quantities with the right people. Save as much as you can, and invest as much as you can sacrifice. Don’t worry; you’ll drink later on your backyard gazebo in your own compound with your own mansion. Invest in real conversations to boost your ability to hold a real relationship intact. 10 years from now, your wife will be praising you to your daughter and motivating your son to be like you. Look for work that you love and love what you do, and it will never feel like work. If not, be an entrepreneur. Go out there and find solutions to society’s problems, make them work. And if you succeed, don’t forget to give back to the same society. If it doesn’t, try and try again till it does. If one way doesn’t work, try another better way to achieve the same goal.

What I believed in was accepting responsibility for any given action, so young man if you ever run into trouble, take responsibility. Ask for forgiveness and be better. If someone wrongs you, trust me, there is no joy in living with a grudge. Forgive quickly, move on and be careful. Dress diligently and leave people wondering why they hadn’t noticed you in the first place. Never loosen up your morals and work ethics because of a raw deal just to make more money, a better one will come the right way and you’ll end up wealthier. Wake up early just to plan your day, week. And above all, always pray when you wake up. Never leave God out of anything that you do.

Yes you may be going through a hard time, but people have hard it worse and harder. So keep your head up, keep on keeping. You think you have demons in your life, people have the devil himself! But they don’t beat themselves down. They get up; they continue fighting the good fight.

I don’t know much young man, because I’m just like you, but I’ve experienced enough, learnt enough to tell you this; IT TAKES TIME, PERSISTENCE, HARD WORK, and SMART WORK AND PATIENCE TO MAKE IT WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.

Regards,

Fellow Young Man.

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No…

I wouldn’t want to say no, not next to you.

Even as your hair drops majestically down your shoulders, it’d still be impossible.

A quick stolen glance towards your flickering dazed eyes, I just wouldn’t ever.

Beautiful, is the word, still injustice is done by its usage.

Battling with a brittle smile, your tenuous lips curve upwards as if to torment.

Dragging out the inner-most dying sparks, ready to ignite a soul yearning.

The world knew, a lot of your smiles in deep seasons, but knew nothing of your tears in light seasons.

So life thought it funny, if I sat across the room, leaving chunks of traces.

Enough for me to relinquish each no,

You see, it was all in the yeses, never the nos.

You see, it was all in the second wind, never the first wind.

So before I say my no, let me run,

Fast enough on the first wind to catch the second!

All the pain that comes with it, being ready is paramount.

The stronger I’ll get, the gentler the no will be.

You’ll hear the glorified No, but never understand the sacrifice behind it.

Maybe we both needed it, to make a difference in this Life, separately.

Living in a corrupted world that led us to believe, captured us by faith.

Always waiting for something from an outside pool, just to be happy!

You’ll be broken, I’ll be limping, and we’ll teach each other how to live.

After that No!

Sometimes being away is our sole responsibility, great things always tend to happen,

Eventually!

No

I Think I’ve Grown Up

I think I’ve grown up, when I start appreciating the warm nights more.

I think I’ve grown up; I no longer have to surge vehemently to watch mid-afternoon cartoons.

I think I’ve grown up; today I woke faster than my alarm, so I don’t need it anymore.

I think I’ve grown up; I no longer have to be sat down just to read an excerpt from a newspaper.

I think I’ve grown up, when I stride past a shop resisting the urge to dig in my pocket for a coin, to buy that juicy cola.

I think I’ve grown up; yesterday I took out the trash in my own accord. Who knew?

I think I’ve grown up, tomorrow is Friday, and my only plan is reading the freshly bought thriller romance novel.

I think I’ve grown up.

I think I’ve grown up, asubuhi ya Leo, I had my first cup of dark coffee. Who would have thought?

I think I’ve grown up, every morning as I tighten that tie perfectly tied around my shirt collar,

I think I’ve grown up, kila jioni, rushing home, occasionally stopping for a firm gripping-hand shake.

I think I’ve grown up, offering critical solutions amidst calamity in pressure-infested environments.

I think I’ve grown up; I no longer tolerate relations of no immediate or longer-period importance.

I think I’ve grown up, when I started counting the number of times a friend was there rather than the number of friends that are there.

I think I’ve grown up, ready now to take on opportunities, because I’ve been in preparation.

I think I’ve grown up.

I think I’ve grown up, leaving behind childhood actions.

I think I’ve grown up, last week I settled all my financial bills, growing up huh.

I think I’ve grown up, stopped beating myself up and actually changed my thoughts.

I think I’ve grown up, indulging in constructive conversations, no small talks.

I think I’ve grown up, drawing closer minds in, ones that see far beyond.

I think I’ve grown up, I do understand not all actions towards self needs a reaction from self.

I think I’ve grown up, after embracing the sensitivity of my nature, yet never allow to be taken for granted.

I think I’ve grown up.

I think I’ve grown up, as I sit, every day, behind the desk, ruthlessly demolishing set responsibilities.

I think I’ve grown up, finally giving credence to monsters existing, being a monster, and letting them win.

I think I’ve grown up, knowing everything will be okay, eventually!

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Gold Tears

Sometimes she thinks to herself that it is a beautiful world out there. Not necessarily in what people do, or what people say, but it is beautiful because through its darkness there will always be light.

Mostly as she leans back, slightly inclined to be supported by the bathroom sink, she tends to let her mind wonder. Wonder to the beauty of it all. The nature of being a 25 year old fully blossomed woman, drenched in sadistic differential thoughts. On such days it’s different though. Particularly this fateful day, she cut a little deeper. The need to feel burning pain that comes along with the bleeding always overtook her sensible fragility. She was going to win this battle, not the war. In this life, as she came to realize you win some, the demons win the rest. And not just any demons to be clear! Those that deem themselves best friends, to ride or die. Demons that guide her to put down the razor, only to open the door to the kitchen for her to pick up the knife! That was her reality.

Why? She never came to understand.

How could she hide from them if at all they are all she saw hiding in her crystal clear musky brown eyes when she look in the mirror?

Every night, they chose a reason to make her stay awake. As if to torment her to count her sins, to bleed them out, one after the other, to cleanse her inner self. Inner beauty was her best chance at survival within her own body. Swearing to cease every morning, and to brood over again and again the beautiful pain they bestowed upon her.

A rite of passage, the pastor said, to fight one’s own demons. She pushed on, with nothing left to lie out for other’s to have a glimpse of. Deeply seated pain she fought to cut it out, to bleed it slowly out of her. The body could only take as much, but not that particular day. The only savior left was her knife. It went deep enough. Although they didn’t trust her anymore, alone, they couldn’t be her guardian angel in the bathroom.

Her guardian angel watched her, tears of gold waiting, patiently for her final breathes, to trickle down. A sign from the gods that indeed it was a precious life! In complete disregard of her reality, she ran away in her mind. Empty inside, her anchor had been cut and fell. No one lent their ears to hear her insecurities, her lacking abilities for the society. In those moments she didn’t exists, just her demons. And that day she smiled knowing to well of the battle looming inside, coming out to her.

She faced it all. And nothing mattered anymore. It was getting beautifully worse for her. Finally, embracing them all! Why pluck a flower when you could let it grow and become a garden inside? She thought wishfully for her demons.

Colder exhales, deeper inhales, ice cold breathes. She closed her eyes gracefully. To her, she won. A battle! No one saw. In a field she was too familiar with. Her own mind!

But her world, just paused, as the door swung wide open, distant sirens of an ambulance rushing through the streets brought her fallen anchor slowly. Everything quieted, as if they had been shut out! Pushed out of existence by her victory!

Her heavy eyelids slowly gave way to her musky eyes. To a light brighter than her darkness, ready for her next battle that she hoped wouldn’t be too soon…

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If The World Listen

If the world only listened, he would have laid out his silent words.

If the world only talked, he could have corrected his bent ways.

If the world only breathed life, he should have distinguished his thoughts clearly.

But it only listened to none, so he drank his words back into his empty vessel.

But it only talked of its ways, so he drowned his ears in their understanding.

But it only breathed life of a fiery, so he coiled from within setting his own sunset.

Dwelling on a past so far, one that steered him down a path to lose his voice.

Dwelling on a limited belief so compelling, the one need to always be right.

Dwelling on a resistance so intense, it had to make him change.

Dripping with desire to live, anticipating for his possible chance to be heard.

Frightened to talk, his silent words remain behind his folded lips.

Startled by the speed of a world that he didn’t belong to, yet!

Dripping through scars, were his rewards.

Frightened to be asked for more, due to his heart, it was already captive.

Startled with the turns of the bearings, each turn carries message of sympathy.

That he’ll make the world listen, if not talk back the way he wanted to.

He just had to cease from making things seem right according to the world,

And grasp the struggles of lending his ears to the world,

To let it hear his waves of motion, to find a voice through the world’s words.

The continua of laying a bare soul to a world that barely sleeps.

No longer of loneliness, but of desire to sleep with his thoughts well conquered.

A world that listens at 4a.m., when waken up from nightmares conflicting in his mind.

A world that talked back to the moon,

To remind him tomorrow will be a gracious day, a welcome back to reality gift.

If he only paused and remembered to live!

Listen-to-Me-

Men, Right?

Practically every man out there wants to fall in love. I don’t mean the buying a girl things and taking her out on rampant dates and traveling. It is about that intense love that gets a man to love a woman, unembarrassed to even talk about you over the casual drinks with the guys in a respectable manner. A place that nurtures a man, nourishes him to be a better version of him. Maybe that’s what it’s all about at times, the feel of belonging in her arms.

It takes a considerable amount of courage for any man to go down on one knee. He’ll have assessed a woman and monitored every angle of her beauty. And no, not physically but emotionally, spiritually just to mention a few. Love is beautiful, but for a man love is a constituent of various variables going from I like your beauty, to I want to impress you, to I love you with all the sorcery in between those stages!

For men to be deemed just physical creatures, i tend to understand that men want the simple precious things of life, not the complicated segments women come with:

If they miss you, they will dial your number up.

If they want to understand you, they will go out of their way to make sure they do.

If they are ever in doubt of something, you will be their go-to woman to seek out advice and possible steps to take.

If they need to meet you, trust that he will initiate everything to the extent of even casually picking you up from your door step, if need be.

No one will ever understand what goes on truly in a man’s mind when in love, until you forego your traditional knows and learn to see him from his perspective. If I can quote Who Moved My Cheese, it says that you should be able to adapt to change quickly, “the quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you can enjoy new cheese”. So why not leave that Stone Age mentality of what a man should be doing if he loves you, and savor your adventure with your man and enjoy the taste of new cheese with him of how he loves you.

Men will often breakdown, behind closed doors, when they are finally alone, why? Because society has brought on us the crown of dealing with the world as a stronger species, yet we are of the same species. Now that is not fair, but life itself is fair for treating each one of us unfairly, right?

Often stress creeps in and lurks behind his mind’s shadows, things get harder without a sight of “relief” anywhere near, and until he finds himself a nurturing woman that brings patience to his life to make him open his eyes that things will indeed get better if you only get through the bad. Assuring him that everything doesn’t have to happen right now but it will happen. She brings to his life, things that he could never buy her because she valued him for things he could only offer from within. So don’t wonder why your man has never broken down in-front of you yet you hear of tales of men who silently breakdown in front of their women behind closed doors. All men need it, that shoulder to cry on once in a while. When their path is destroyed, they will need someone to help them rebuild and prosper, not someone to leave because the taps ran dry.

As a man, one would need a firm support pillar, away from his peers, back at home that cracks due to immense pressure but never yields. A pillar so strong that drives him to jump out of bed each morning to make something out of nothing and return to that very same matrimonial bed satisfied but still hungry for the next day.

As impossible as it may seem, men need guidance. A little bit of push to go the extra mile. A pat the back for every deed done, regardless of its success or not! A bow acknowledging they are indeed loving their women right in their own capable way. A nod for their everyday efforts to be there for a woman they truly love.

Actually a man just needs to be seen. Not to be taken for granted. To be understood that no all will always be rosy with him, but he can help you see the beauty of the thorny parts if you stick around enough. And as sure as the beauty of a sunrise and sunset goes, he will buy you those heavenly-white fresh roses you love so much on the regular.

A man wants woman who keeps his emotions in check, and guides him in a spiritual journey that will not only transform him into a prayerful man, but one who walks with valor in his path because of it. A man will fight to keep a woman who supports him in his mental growth, spiritual strengthening and still have strength to love him.

After all, all that a man wants is a woman who makes him feel secure, remind him every day that he’s the only one she’ll ever want and love, and hold him tight consistently.

So, it’s only fair for man to find a woman that appreciates him for just being him. But then again, life is just that unfair, right?

…Wrong? (Part Two)

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