There’s a Boy I Know…

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

He’s got a smile that can light up a grey day.

The smile hides a number of secrets.

Secrets which are better off with “I’m Fine”

But,

It still warms my heart.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

And his smile captured me.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

His desire for success runs deep.

His mother’s joy and father’s pride are his motivation.

He’s started to understand his true worth in relationships too.

He no-longer loves blindly but guards his heart.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

I no-longer just like him.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

In his complexity, his simplicity reflects.

His flaws radiate his human soul.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

I no-longer just like him,

I love him.

Anonymous S

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Our Blessing; Signed Mommy & Daddy

Still haven’t gotten over that moment when we realized she was are pregnant,

With you.

A Queen, carrying our prince.

The fear in our ears, the joy that ran through our minds, unforgettable.

And from the chaos of our confusion and fear, we did find cherished beauty in the moments.

Every day we grew closer to God, every day we grew into our new blessings.

You continuously paved our path for us without even realizing it.

God held us down day by day till that defining moment when we almost lost it but He put His hands in it.

And will continuously do so because He proved to us that prayers work and He is the God of the 11th hour.

He proved to us that whatever you prophesy with your tongue, it shall come to pass.

So why not prophesy the best out of life, and surely His mercies and goodness shall follow us,

As a family, for eternities of eternity.

I have never felt the sudden rush of happiness, heart-beating sporadically, tears overflowing and the soul being awakened by the purest form of true love until we held you in our arms.

We saw it in your eyes; the fragility of life, the deepest form of true love, and the furthest future we can ever dream of.

And as we begin this journey of raising you, we can only pray for guidance and wisdom in nurturing you, as we savor the beautiful moments throughout the journey.

And like a compass needle that points to the north, we shall raise you up to trust in God, and always going for the best in life and finding pleasure in the beautiful moments in life even if they are big or small because all that matters is your happiness and putting God first just as we do every day of our lives.

T

P.s – You are our little driver, & our bright light to a beautiful, prosperous future as a family.

Signed,

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Mommy & Daddy

 

 

…Long Enough.

It always feels like you’ve been running all your life.

Or drowning in an ocean, yet still breathing.

And the only thing that keeps you afloat is the hope of a better tomorrow.

That never comes yet.

Maybe you don’t have to fall apart today.

But eventually.

You can only stay strong enough long enough.

And when today comes from yesterday’s tomorrow,

Maybe it will be time to pause, and fall apart.

And let the damage take control, so that you can get back home.

If home is still there.

But maybe it doesn’t have to feel like drowning.

Or running your whole life.

Maybe you don’t have to pause and fall apart.

Just stay still, and breathe.

And just maybe you will escape to that better tomorrow.

But aren’t those are too many maybes for Today, Maybe?

wolf

 

 

Life Smiles :)

Something amazing happens when you decide to look at the positive side of life. It dawns to you that you are actually doing good in life. Yes you might have challenges to pay your bills or fall short of expectations from others especially your family. Perhaps you might even feel low because you are not where you wanted to be in life. You know, that part of life of having a steady business or career, a good car, warm house and a beautiful relationship. Life was never meant to be flow the way you want it to. Life is not meant to turn out the way you want it to. And definitely life never agrees with your plans. One thing I’m learning constantly in life is to smile along the way. When the storm hits hard, smile because it can never last forever. When the sun shines upon you, smile because its warm feeling inside you lasts forever. Truth of the matter is nobody knows how their life will turn out today, tomorrow, this very second after finishing reading this sentence. Nobody has a right to pass judgement on your life just because they feel they are in a better position in life than you or they have been through more than you. Truth is everybody goes through their own stories, whether its heavy or not its always based on your perspective and not theirs. 

Frankly speaking we will never understand why it happens the way it does until we grasp the aspect of how life works itself and the truth is nobody ever will. 
Well…at least that’s what i think for today. 
R.I.P Chester Bennington || Linkin Park 🎶

One Reason 

Maybe. The. Only. Reason. We. Have. Broken. Dreams. Is. Because. We. Want. Everything. All. At. Once. 

You! 

I want to feel you. 

Like the world feels the Sun rises.

On the lips. 

Like the ocean feels the rays of the Sun. 

In my heart. 

Like the cold gentleness of a warm ocean floor.

On my body. 

Like the warmth of a full moon. 

I love you endlessly. 

Like the forever of all tomorrows.

Because you are my Sun & my Moon of all my Oceans. 

Simple

Nobody is ever perfect. At least not in a perfect way.

Everyone has their own story. Beautiful in a way.

A girl can count the number of imperfections she has.

It’s not your place to point them out. Rather nurture her.

Seal those cracks of her tests. In any way.

A guy can never see his Imperfections.

It’s not your place to point them out. Rather nurture him.

Open his eyes, one by one. Step by step.

There is beauty in belonging. Not just to anybody.

Rather to somebody worth the effort.

After all we all want it. To belong.

That feeling of warmth.

Embracing you each moment they cross your mind.

That feeling of peace.

That everything is as it is to be in-between the imperfections.

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In-Between

It’s the moments in-between.

To realize everything is in the angles.

That the destination is not as important as the journey.

In the journey, the ups, the downs, the in-betweens,

You get to find paths you knew nothing about.

You get to wonder in depths that fill you up.

You get engulfed in love without an end.

You get to control everything that’s uncontrollable.

Sometimes you stop.

Sometimes you miss a sign.

Sometimes you miss a turn.

Sometimes you get an empty tank.

But everything that you miss, gets you right where you wanted to be.

The more you grow the more you understand the destination is in all the seconds of the journey.

So in-between the laughs, breathe.

So in-between the cries, breathe.

So in-between the falling in love, breathe.

So in-between the stares, breathe.

So in-between the silence, breathe.

So let life take your breath away in simple things.

Like the smell of rain, like the sight of a flying bird.

So build your journey as you go, step by step.

Who said a laugh can’t lead you to greatness.

Who said a cry can’t create a path of success.

Who said falling in love can’t set the tempo of going up in life.

Who said the stares can’t show you the road to your next victory.

Who said silence can’t create loud miracles.

So in-between each moment, don’t forget the seconds are long enough for you to breathe!

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I Want To

Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. What if I want to go more past those miles? Life is never what it seems. At least I have learnt that in the past few weeks. I had the privilege of taking a step back. To see a bigger picture. Picture of a thousand white roses. Up to date, I hardly understand why I started loving such a phrase. ‘A picture of a thousand white roses’. A friend asked me why I thought people get depressed over small manageable issues. And funny enough my mind was in fact, depressed. I wish I was bold enough to tell that one friend, of my nights, crawled up at edge of my bed, on the floor, the coldness of it all gently warming me up. I wish I had the courage to tell that one friend of the mornings I spend in the shower, with nothing but tears running down. I wish I was bold enough to tell that friend that actually some men cry, get confused, and contemplate suicide more often than not. But what stops them? A hope for a better tomorrow? A prayer silently made in the depths of a man’s deepness? Yet, they wake up, show up to fight another day. I wish that friend saw the tears behind my eyes as I answered that question. You see, depression is never a matter of just a small thing that affects someone. It is the series of small manageable things piercing in the depths of your deepness, drowning you from deep within till the days turn into nights of gasping for a breath, till the nights turn into days of digging inside yourself for just but a smile for others. Yes, for others to see you are okay. You see, every day you wake up knowing you will slit your wrists, cut your ankles, slice up your thighs. But after each day, you go to sleep dreading for tomorrow. Because it starts all over again. A loop of some sorts. You close off, becoming one with music. It keeps one going, I should know. But one thing about thoughts clouding every breath is you just want to feel. It doesn’t matter if its pain, or not. The very essence of dark rooms, solitude, creeps inside you and settles in like a plague. It satisfies you. Even when your phone goes silent for a week, you don’t mind but it eats you up, driving you deeper into the depths of an ocean of solitude. I should know. I wish I told my friend all this and much more, but time is never so generous. Friends seem always busy, even when meeting, just but a few minutes then they are gone. And for those good few minutes, half of them is spent on their phone. You wish your phone was as busy as theirs sometimes. Maybe then you would feel wanted, but for now you are stuck with the coldness slicing through your wrists. You just want to feel, to understand. The feel of being wanted, of being needed. Then the same friends wonder why you rarely go out. It’s perhaps because everyone is always on their phones except you. It’s perhaps because friendship lost meaning along the way. It’s perhaps because people don’t understand friendship anymore.

But what do I know about friendship? I’m just seated here, writing this in my head word by word, as my dear friend chats on the phone even after such a depressing question. I can’t wait to go back my cold, slithering floor, at the edge of my bed, maybe then they will chat with me so vehemently. Maybe I just want to feel more than the depths of an ocean…

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Burn

It burns inside, like lava soothing you from inside.

Picking up a blade to be slit down my wrist has never looked so enticing.

Deep down, I understand why that can’t happen again.

So my mind wonders, to the center of it all.

Where it all began.

An unforgiving solace through my wrists.

A burning desire to feel which I cannot.

In everything, I see darkness sipping through the cracks.

Not in, but oozing out of me.

Nothing but the sensational taste of tantalizing red wine, down my throat.

A new escape, perhaps.

Yet it burns with every swallow.

Waiting for the inevitable, to walk through that door.

I went straight there, as soon as I read it.

Hands sweating, heart beating slower than usual.

Stuck in a familiar offset balance.

We finally figured it out, incomplete creatures under the moon.

A need to be complete, together.

But still miles apart, in the same room.

She led herself in, sitting across the room.

Same room she threw her goodbyes from.

Our eyes locked, unlocking what was violently stored away.

You could feel her pulsating heart a mile way.

Her light blue turquoise dress, flowing on every inch of her.

Inches that once dripped with honey to be savored.

She wanted to confess, of a love.

She earlier excused herself, to wipe of her tears.

Previously my duty, not anymore.

Change is inevitable apparently.

Having silent conversations in-between the silence.

Her lips parted, pausing to allow the last burning wine down my throat.

I’m sorry, I can never live without you

Suddenly, my hands grew weak, letting the glass reach its final destination.

Pausing for a moment.

Because, I, more than anybody knew what the world was, without her.

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