Break..!

Sometimes you got to break to get a breakthrough in life.

How bad or deep the break will be is dependent on how strong you were before it.

Sometimes you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only option left.

Always have strong enough shocks to absorb anything in life.

Sometimes you never know what life might through at you at the next level or corner.

But then again, have the confidence of a horse backed by the bravery of a lioness and top it off with the heart of a lion.

Life ain’t easy, but that should never be an excuse to give up completely.

If its hard, take a step back to see the bigger picture, and push harder, smarter than before.

You got this!

 

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Live. Laugh. Love. I.I.I

Before your life drains itself in the unending spiral of daily routines and self-pity drowned in self-victimization, open your eyes and see what life is offering beyond your view.

Before your life spirals down in regrets and deep rooted stress, open your mind to the never ending happiness that can surround you from within and get to smile to the angles life is trying to show you.

Day by day, life doesn’t stop showing you where you are to go but are you seeing it or just looking right through it?

Day by day, life gives you an opportunity to better yourself from yesterday but are you taking the steps needed to get there?

Day by day, life always gives you a reason to smile and look forward to a better you but are you so scared to live or too scared of what it might become that you stand still in your current position?

You have all it takes to live your dreams but are you working towards them or have you settled in a routine life just to pay bills and hope for a better life tomorrow without doing anything today?

We are all scared of what life might give us tomorrow but that should never stop us from living a life full of laughter, love and life today.

But before you get there where you want to go, can you take the first step?

…Long Enough.

It always feels like you’ve been running all your life.

Or drowning in an ocean, yet still breathing.

And the only thing that keeps you afloat is the hope of a better tomorrow.

That never comes yet.

Maybe you don’t have to fall apart today.

But eventually.

You can only stay strong enough long enough.

And when today comes from yesterday’s tomorrow,

Maybe it will be time to pause, and fall apart.

And let the damage take control, so that you can get back home.

If home is still there.

But maybe it doesn’t have to feel like drowning.

Or running your whole life.

Maybe you don’t have to pause and fall apart.

Just stay still, and breathe.

And just maybe you will escape to that better tomorrow.

But aren’t those are too many maybes for Today, Maybe?

 

 

Life Smiles :)

Something amazing happens when you decide to look at the positive side of life. It dawns to you that you are actually doing good in life. Yes you might have challenges to pay your bills or fall short of expectations from others especially your family. Perhaps you might even feel low because you are not where you wanted to be in life. You know, that part of life of having a steady business or career, a good car, warm house and a beautiful relationship. Life was never meant to be flow the way you want it to. Life is not meant to turn out the way you want it to. And definitely life never agrees with your plans. One thing I’m learning constantly in life is to smile along the way. When the storm hits hard, smile because it can never last forever. When the sun shines upon you, smile because its warm feeling inside you lasts forever. Truth of the matter is nobody knows how their life will turn out today, tomorrow, this very second after finishing reading this sentence. Nobody has a right to pass judgement on your life just because they feel they are in a better position in life than you or they have been through more than you. Truth is everybody goes through their own stories, whether its heavy or not its always based on your perspective and not theirs. 

Frankly speaking we will never understand why it happens the way it does until we grasp the aspect of how life works itself and the truth is nobody ever will. 
Well…at least that’s what i think for today. 
R.I.P Chester Bennington || Linkin Park 🎶

One Reason

Maybe. The. Only. Reason. We. Have. Broken. Dreams. Is. Because. We. Want. Everything. All. At. Once. 

In-Between

It’s the moments in-between.

To realize everything is in the angles.

That the destination is not as important as the journey.

In the journey, the ups, the downs, the in-betweens,

You get to find paths you knew nothing about.

You get to wonder in depths that fill you up.

You get engulfed in love without an end.

You get to control everything that’s uncontrollable.

Sometimes you stop.

Sometimes you miss a sign.

Sometimes you miss a turn.

Sometimes you get an empty tank.

But everything that you miss, gets you right where you wanted to be.

The more you grow the more you understand the destination is in all the seconds of the journey.

So in-between the laughs, breathe.

So in-between the cries, breathe.

So in-between the falling in love, breathe.

So in-between the stares, breathe.

So in-between the silence, breathe.

So let life take your breath away in simple things.

Like the smell of rain, like the sight of a flying bird.

So build your journey as you go, step by step.

Who said a laugh can’t lead you to greatness.

Who said a cry can’t create a path of success.

Who said falling in love can’t set the tempo of going up in life.

Who said the stares can’t show you the road to your next victory.

Who said silence can’t create loud miracles.

So in-between each moment, don’t forget the seconds are long enough for you to breathe!

I Want To

Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. What if I want to go more past those miles? Life is never what it seems. At least I have learnt that in the past few weeks. I had the privilege of taking a step back. To see a bigger picture. Picture of a thousand white roses. Up to date, I hardly understand why I started loving such a phrase. ‘A picture of a thousand white roses’. A friend asked me why I thought people get depressed over small manageable issues. And funny enough my mind was in fact, depressed. I wish I was bold enough to tell that one friend, of my nights, crawled up at edge of my bed, on the floor, the coldness of it all gently warming me up. I wish I had the courage to tell that one friend of the mornings I spend in the shower, with nothing but tears running down. I wish I was bold enough to tell that friend that actually some men cry, get confused, and contemplate suicide more often than not. But what stops them? A hope for a better tomorrow? A prayer silently made in the depths of a man’s deepness? Yet, they wake up, show up to fight another day. I wish that friend saw the tears behind my eyes as I answered that question. You see, depression is never a matter of just a small thing that affects someone. It is the series of small manageable things piercing in the depths of your deepness, drowning you from deep within till the days turn into nights of gasping for a breath, till the nights turn into days of digging inside yourself for just but a smile for others. Yes, for others to see you are okay. You see, every day you wake up knowing you will slit your wrists, cut your ankles, slice up your thighs. But after each day, you go to sleep dreading for tomorrow. Because it starts all over again. A loop of some sorts. You close off, becoming one with music. It keeps one going, I should know. But one thing about thoughts clouding every breath is you just want to feel. It doesn’t matter if its pain, or not. The very essence of dark rooms, solitude, creeps inside you and settles in like a plague. It satisfies you. Even when your phone goes silent for a week, you don’t mind but it eats you up, driving you deeper into the depths of an ocean of solitude. I should know. I wish I told my friend all this and much more, but time is never so generous. Friends seem always busy, even when meeting, just but a few minutes then they are gone. And for those good few minutes, half of them is spent on their phone. You wish your phone was as busy as theirs sometimes. Maybe then you would feel wanted, but for now you are stuck with the coldness slicing through your wrists. You just want to feel, to understand. The feel of being wanted, of being needed. Then the same friends wonder why you rarely go out. It’s perhaps because everyone is always on their phones except you. It’s perhaps because friendship lost meaning along the way. It’s perhaps because people don’t understand friendship anymore.

But what do I know about friendship? I’m just seated here, writing this in my head word by word, as my dear friend chats on the phone even after such a depressing question. I can’t wait to go back my cold, slithering floor, at the edge of my bed, maybe then they will chat with me so vehemently. Maybe I just want to feel more than the depths of an ocean…

 

Burn

It burns inside, like lava soothing you from inside.

Picking up a blade to be slit down my wrist has never looked so enticing.

Deep down, I understand why that can’t happen again.

So my mind wonders, to the center of it all.

Where it all began.

An unforgiving solace through my wrists.

A burning desire to feel which I cannot.

In everything, I see darkness sipping through the cracks.

Not in, but oozing out of me.

Nothing but the sensational taste of tantalizing red wine, down my throat.

A new escape, perhaps.

Yet it burns with every swallow.

Waiting for the inevitable, to walk through that door.

I went straight there, as soon as I read it.

Hands sweating, heart beating slower than usual.

Stuck in a familiar offset balance.

We finally figured it out, incomplete creatures under the moon.

A need to be complete, together.

But still miles apart, in the same room.

She led herself in, sitting across the room.

Same room she threw her goodbyes from.

Our eyes locked, unlocking what was violently stored away.

You could feel her pulsating heart a mile way.

Her light blue turquoise dress, flowing on every inch of her.

Inches that once dripped with honey to be savored.

She wanted to confess, of a love.

She earlier excused herself, to wipe of her tears.

Previously my duty, not anymore.

Change is inevitable apparently.

Having silent conversations in-between the silence.

Her lips parted, pausing to allow the last burning wine down my throat.

I’m sorry, I can never live without you

Suddenly, my hands grew weak, letting the glass reach its final destination.

Pausing for a moment.

Because, I, more than anybody knew what the world was, without her.

Novelty II

She couldn’t keep her eyes off him, as she walked away. Something about him made it special. Perhaps a realization would dawn on her later, that her world is sequentially different without him. It was what she wanted at the time. She was tired of all the fighting, not the fighting for parts. A need to stop the bleeding, she was tearing up from within. Her walls were thick enough, never letting anything through. His love porous-ed its way in, deep into heart void heart. Like a dawn of a rainy day, the spasms of rays light up the sky. Creating spatial rainbows amidst tiny droplets of rain, what is rain really? She asked herself. What’s the use of flying yet chained? She questioned herself. She was chained to her heart, locked down by blindness. She cried for a well written story, not an unfolding one. She was but un-bothered that her story was still being written. Her heart felt cold with each drop of tear that stretched down her cheeks. He disappeared into his dark-ended street. Both oblivious of the street lights, trying to pave him an obvious path back home. What would be the odds? Of both their tears hitting the rugged uneven ground? He would have caught her tears, if she gave him a chance.

But in reality, it was she that needed a chance to save them. But she saved herself. A life of resilience and building from nothing wasn’t in her to-do list. A life laid out already was hers for the taking, a king, a prince of charms, or a well written story ready for her to be edited in. And in that moment, as the rain died down tired from all the down pouring, her phone rang. That well written story, waiting to be picked up. She broke down, tears torrentially pouring down. She knew then that all her walls had broken down, from inside, waiting for his love to do the inevitable, of leaving with him.

For her, as he walked away, she understood his story was just being unfolded. And she would have been beautifully written with it, not edited.

 

Novelty

…He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment. As he walked away from everything he ever knew. As the chills made his spine their rocking chair, something beautiful happened in that dark moment. Willing to go the distance, he traded on. His heart sunk in, his brain shut down. The rush of a warm summer’s breeze filled the air. Even the rain wasn’t coming that evening. It knew better. Just the cover of light clouds dancing on a dark evening sky represented it. Then the street lights came on.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to love past the rejection. The fresh breathe of the first evening star took away the first tear off his right eye. All around were fellow living things, oblivious of the raging emotions crawling their way up his veins. But at the end of each step forward, he felt a sense of relief. His undying spirit: fighting on against oblivion of loathness. To him, she symbolized perfection; an embodiment of richness in serene beauty and breathtaking curvaceous smile.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to breathe in darkness and see the beauty of light seeping through the cracks, to feed his empty basement of a heart. So that one day, he may look up with his teary eyes, and smile.