You! 

I want to feel you. 

Like the world feels the Sun rises.

On the lips. 

Like the ocean feels the rays of the Sun. 

In my heart. 

Like the cold gentleness of a warm ocean floor.

On my body. 

Like the warmth of a full moon. 

I love you endlessly. 

Like the forever of all tomorrows.

Because you are my Sun & my Moon of all my Oceans. 

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Simple

Nobody is ever perfect. At least not in a perfect way.

Everyone has their own story. Beautiful in a way.

A girl can count the number of imperfections she has.

It’s not your place to point them out. Rather nurture her.

Seal those cracks of her tests. In any way.

A guy can never see his Imperfections.

It’s not your place to point them out. Rather nurture him.

Open his eyes, one by one. Step by step.

There is beauty in belonging. Not just to anybody.

Rather to somebody worth the effort.

After all we all want it. To belong.

That feeling of warmth.

Embracing you each moment they cross your mind.

That feeling of peace.

That everything is as it is to be in-between the imperfections.

 Simple.jpg

 

Burn

It burns inside, like lava soothing you from inside.

Picking up a blade to be slit down my wrist has never looked so enticing.

Deep down, I understand why that can’t happen again.

So my mind wonders, to the center of it all.

Where it all began.

An unforgiving solace through my wrists.

A burning desire to feel which I cannot.

In everything, I see darkness sipping through the cracks.

Not in, but oozing out of me.

Nothing but the sensational taste of tantalizing red wine, down my throat.

A new escape, perhaps.

Yet it burns with every swallow.

Waiting for the inevitable, to walk through that door.

I went straight there, as soon as I read it.

Hands sweating, heart beating slower than usual.

Stuck in a familiar offset balance.

We finally figured it out, incomplete creatures under the moon.

A need to be complete, together.

But still miles apart, in the same room.

She led herself in, sitting across the room.

Same room she threw her goodbyes from.

Our eyes locked, unlocking what was violently stored away.

You could feel her pulsating heart a mile way.

Her light blue turquoise dress, flowing on every inch of her.

Inches that once dripped with honey to be savored.

She wanted to confess, of a love.

She earlier excused herself, to wipe of her tears.

Previously my duty, not anymore.

Change is inevitable apparently.

Having silent conversations in-between the silence.

Her lips parted, pausing to allow the last burning wine down my throat.

I’m sorry, I can never live without you

Suddenly, my hands grew weak, letting the glass reach its final destination.

Pausing for a moment.

Because, I, more than anybody knew what the world was, without her.

PROFTHOMA_EDIT2

Novelty II

She couldn’t keep her eyes off him, as she walked away. Something about him made it special. Perhaps a realization would dawn on her later, that her world is sequentially different without him. It was what she wanted at the time. She was tired of all the fighting, not the fighting for parts. A need to stop the bleeding, she was tearing up from within. Her walls were thick enough, never letting anything through. His love porous-ed its way in, deep into heart void heart. Like a dawn of a rainy day, the spasms of rays light up the sky. Creating spatial rainbows amidst tiny droplets of rain, what is rain really? She asked herself. What’s the use of flying yet chained? She questioned herself. She was chained to her heart, locked down by blindness. She cried for a well written story, not an unfolding one. She was but un-bothered that her story was still being written. Her heart felt cold with each drop of tear that stretched down her cheeks. He disappeared into his dark-ended street. Both oblivious of the street lights, trying to pave him an obvious path back home. What would be the odds? Of both their tears hitting the rugged uneven ground? He would have caught her tears, if she gave him a chance.

But in reality, it was she that needed a chance to save them. But she saved herself. A life of resilience and building from nothing wasn’t in her to-do list. A life laid out already was hers for the taking, a king, a prince of charms, or a well written story ready for her to be edited in. And in that moment, as the rain died down tired from all the down pouring, her phone rang. That well written story, waiting to be picked up. She broke down, tears torrentially pouring down. She knew then that all her walls had broken down, from inside, waiting for his love to do the inevitable, of leaving with him.

For her, as he walked away, she understood his story was just being unfolded. And she would have been beautifully written with it, not edited.

tear

 

Novelty

…He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment. As he walked away from everything he ever knew. As the chills made his spine their rocking chair, something beautiful happened in that dark moment. Willing to go the distance, he traded on. His heart sunk in, his brain shut down. The rush of a warm summer’s breeze filled the air. Even the rain wasn’t coming that evening. It knew better. Just the cover of light clouds dancing on a dark evening sky represented it. Then the street lights came on.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to love past the rejection. The fresh breathe of the first evening star took away the first tear off his right eye. All around were fellow living things, oblivious of the raging emotions crawling their way up his veins. But at the end of each step forward, he felt a sense of relief. His undying spirit: fighting on against oblivion of loathness. To him, she symbolized perfection; an embodiment of richness in serene beauty and breathtaking curvaceous smile.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to breathe in darkness and see the beauty of light seeping through the cracks, to feed his empty basement of a heart. So that one day, he may look up with his teary eyes, and smile.

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The Drop

I don’t know what happened.

But when it struck, it struck good.

Her arrows dropped on me.

Yet I wasn’t injured.

Except that one broken arrow, that passed through to my heart.

An arrow full of poison, hurting in all the right ways, in all the loving spots, it hit my heart in a true way.

And I don’t want to ever heal from my wounds, not anymore.

I want to bleed forever.

For my blood to run, overflowing in an ocean.

And if I ever run out of blood, I know she will share hers with me.

Let’s drown inside our blood, an ocean full of love.

Get lost in my love.

Hidden beneath drops of love, I’ll hide you.

And with every drop, we’ll grow stronger, and we’ll grow drunk.

Staring into the reflection of a starry sky, for as long as we can to never remember how deep we are.

For as long as they try to drain our ocean, we’ll always remain with it in us and nothing else.

For our last drop will be a new ocean, in itself, always.

water-drop

 

Promise Me

It’s the last day of a long year.

Nothing has changed, really, to the better.

It is as it was, the first day of the year.

I’m still drowning in my own tears.

I can’t stop because of a heavy heart.

Everything in between the year was as beautiful as the universe itself.

A universe drenched in darkness.

As promises echoed through my veins, my smile got rearranged.

My laughter replaced.

It felt like heaven, the darkness itself.

Somehow it turned into my light.

Something about drowning,

Something about hitting the bottom was liberating.

Something about it was unexplainable.

The only way after hitting the rock bottom, was up.

But I needed to take my rock bottom with me.

For it fired me into everything I was.

A new being, facing anything.

I yearned for everything in-between the darkness and light.

Ships sink for letting water in, not mine.

Sailing with the gods, to let the darkness in,

For it was the source of my light.

Until when I’m full, I’ll drown in her darkness, her broken promises.

And my broken pieces will be liberated into the light of the darkness.

But just promise me to pause, and enjoy the liberation.

dark

Bearers

We don’t need permission, just the blessings of the universe.

Nothing can prevent it, not even distance between us.

It’s only the connection we need.

A bond that grows stronger with each passing cloud.

Never to be broken, or thrown away.

What if we fight?

What if we grow distant?

What if we lose sight?

You asked, tears running its course down your eyes.

I failed to answer.

Not for lack of a response, but because I was ready.

To fight for this unbreakable bond, eternally.

To the heavens and back, to hell and straight back, I was ready.

A warm embrace was I could afford.

A journey we both needed to mold together.

A journey of enlightenment needed no rush.

You needed assurances, I had commitment.

You needed security; I had but my soul only to give.

You needed the world; I had but the universe’s vibration to offer.

I became a bearer of some sorts, opening up his soul.

A damaged soul that became light.

A damaged soul that reached deep within, that became love.

So that when you ever lose sight of our love, just look within me.

So that when you ever feel the distant, come and travel beyond me into our universe.

So that when we ever fight, it will be battle to be stopped before it begins.

I bear the silver platter, of tears and battles.

The greatest of them tears would be the tears of seeing you break into oblivion where love doesn’t exist.

Yet, deep down, you bear the power to see a state of equilibrium.

A balance of love and peace, cosigned within the universe itself.

So who are we to never meet, yet the universe needs us to.

No matter where you are, I’m right here.

No matter where I am, you’ll always be right here.

Because as long as we search for the end of the universe,

We will never cease to be the bearers of each other.

balance

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walkway To His Heaven

“I still remember the day I left him.

It was cold.

Not your typical cold weather, but my heart was cold.

Full of anger and possibilities of fun, I convinced myself he didn’t need me.

He didn’t need my loved-filled heart.

He needed to blossom.

And the only way was if he didn’t have my baggage.

You see, my beauty and think what baggage would I possibly have?

My constant nagging, my constant drinking, my constant shopping, my constant male friends!

You see, my heart was cold, and full of fun visions.

His was warm, and full of visions.

Even constant calls wasn’t enough, he still texted, cared, loved me.

But I didn’t need him, apart from the occasional steams of passions.

He was amazing, I wasn’t.

He said I was 99% angel and cared less of the 1% devil.

I said he should worry. The 1% was part of each of the 99% angel.

He forgave my young heart even when I indulged deeper into pleasures.

I needed more roughness around the steamy edges.

Then, I saw him walk by the other day!

Lovely strides I thought.

The kinds that make you want with desire.

Then a lady approached him, simple to the eye, sophisticated to the mind.

I never saw any beauty that matched to hers; I’m still impressed, to date.

She hugged him, kissed him lightly on his soft lips; I remember their taste so vividly.

How I wish I had them next to my neck, breathing gentle warm air as he talks about his world.

I was destroyed, crumbled from within.

She, all the while carried a small child, seemingly theirs.

My heart grew softer, warmer.

A tear dropped right out of his heaven’s gates.

Yes, he called my eyes the gates to a walkway to his heaven.

I turned around, and walked away to the path I came with.

Holding on tightly to a shopping bag filled with a drunk’s shopping.

A faint whisper of a child calling him daddy broke my heart.

Carried by the winds, to torment me I presumed.

It broke, to a thousand pieces.

I guess that’s how he felt when I left.”

walking_away

Solitude Earphones

Tonight he writes with his earphones off, even with continuous prose. Her end went silently numb, off any sound. It was that time of their conversations again, he thought wisely, leaving the unsaid unspoken. Glued to his keyboard, his fingers start the grueling task of laying down one letter after the other in quick succession. A faint knock penetrated through the cracks running vertically down the white wooden door. The continuous flow of thought collapsed suddenly. He had no reason to not wear his solitude earphones, why didn’t he today?

She beat herself up, constantly, on the verge of destroying what was for what could be. She grew accustomed to her numbness whenever he was involved. He stirred up conversations that ran deep within her. Text after text his profound deep nature lured her in the vast depths of his oceanic mind. So she flipped a coin, hoping next to hope that it would be a deterrent enough not to look at what could be. Yet the coin itself proved her wrong. It wanted her to look at the endless possibility of a battle won. She was the outspoken one of the two, though the intensity of his laid back introversive personality was too much of a challenge. She needed to conquer his greatest possession, his heart. The shoes fit perfectly as she locked her room and headed over to his.

The universe gave them the floor and the beat. They were just luck-oriented to find each other in the dance-floor. It didn’t matter that they were not lovers, but what the friendship sparked in-between was the story to be told. They felt alive, they believed in something finally. They didn’t settle for less, neither did they crave for the unattainable. She loved his depth of view, the undying spark of seeing a world full of beautiful souls. All in different colors, angles. It was just beautiful. He loved her expressions, full of life and vibrations. How her sense of direction and coordination grasped his attention.

There she was, knocking hesitantly on his door; ready to find the perfect excuse to turn and walk away. She had no reason to stand there; he had no obligation to let her in so late in the night. He trembled as his eyes interlocked with hers. Slightly shorter than him, she shivered in the night cold. His mind, recovering from the lost flow of thoughts relapsed again. Tumbled down thoughts, all he could gather was to usher her in with a swing of his hand to welcome her. Actions! That was all she wanted, his actions. As she stepped in to hug him, he reached out for her maiden lips, to softly whisper the unspoken words, melting her well calculated words and thoughts she came with.

He thanked the universe for not letting him wear his earphones tonight. The faint knock would have journeyed back with her to her room were it not for his quick answer.

 

As he closed the door behind her, another opened right in-front of their eyes.

animated earphones

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