There’s a Boy I Know…

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

He’s got a smile that can light up a grey day.

The smile hides a number of secrets.

Secrets which are better off with “I’m Fine”

But,

It still warms my heart.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

And his smile captured me.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

His desire for success runs deep.

His mother’s joy and father’s pride are his motivation.

He’s started to understand his true worth in relationships too.

He no-longer loves blindly but guards his heart.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

I no-longer just like him.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

In his complexity, his simplicity reflects.

His flaws radiate his human soul.

There’s a boy I know, he’s a grown man now.

I no-longer just like him,

I love him.

Anonymous S

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Our Blessing; Signed Mommy & Daddy

Still haven’t gotten over that moment when we realized she was are pregnant,

With you.

A Queen, carrying our prince.

The fear in our ears, the joy that ran through our minds, unforgettable.

And from the chaos of our confusion and fear, we did find cherished beauty in the moments.

Every day we grew closer to God, every day we grew into our new blessings.

You continuously paved our path for us without even realizing it.

God held us down day by day till that defining moment when we almost lost it but He put His hands in it.

And will continuously do so because He proved to us that prayers work and He is the God of the 11th hour.

He proved to us that whatever you prophesy with your tongue, it shall come to pass.

So why not prophesy the best out of life, and surely His mercies and goodness shall follow us,

As a family, for eternities of eternity.

I have never felt the sudden rush of happiness, heart-beating sporadically, tears overflowing and the soul being awakened by the purest form of true love until we held you in our arms.

We saw it in your eyes; the fragility of life, the deepest form of true love, and the furthest future we can ever dream of.

And as we begin this journey of raising you, we can only pray for guidance and wisdom in nurturing you, as we savor the beautiful moments throughout the journey.

And like a compass needle that points to the north, we shall raise you up to trust in God, and always going for the best in life and finding pleasure in the beautiful moments in life even if they are big or small because all that matters is your happiness and putting God first just as we do every day of our lives.

T

P.s – You are our little driver, & our bright light to a beautiful, prosperous future as a family.

Signed,

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Mommy & Daddy

 

 

…Long Enough.

It always feels like you’ve been running all your life.

Or drowning in an ocean, yet still breathing.

And the only thing that keeps you afloat is the hope of a better tomorrow.

That never comes yet.

Maybe you don’t have to fall apart today.

But eventually.

You can only stay strong enough long enough.

And when today comes from yesterday’s tomorrow,

Maybe it will be time to pause, and fall apart.

And let the damage take control, so that you can get back home.

If home is still there.

But maybe it doesn’t have to feel like drowning.

Or running your whole life.

Maybe you don’t have to pause and fall apart.

Just stay still, and breathe.

And just maybe you will escape to that better tomorrow.

But aren’t those are too many maybes for Today, Maybe?

wolf

 

 

One Reason 

Maybe. The. Only. Reason. We. Have. Broken. Dreams. Is. Because. We. Want. Everything. All. At. Once. 

In-Between

It’s the moments in-between.

To realize everything is in the angles.

That the destination is not as important as the journey.

In the journey, the ups, the downs, the in-betweens,

You get to find paths you knew nothing about.

You get to wonder in depths that fill you up.

You get engulfed in love without an end.

You get to control everything that’s uncontrollable.

Sometimes you stop.

Sometimes you miss a sign.

Sometimes you miss a turn.

Sometimes you get an empty tank.

But everything that you miss, gets you right where you wanted to be.

The more you grow the more you understand the destination is in all the seconds of the journey.

So in-between the laughs, breathe.

So in-between the cries, breathe.

So in-between the falling in love, breathe.

So in-between the stares, breathe.

So in-between the silence, breathe.

So let life take your breath away in simple things.

Like the smell of rain, like the sight of a flying bird.

So build your journey as you go, step by step.

Who said a laugh can’t lead you to greatness.

Who said a cry can’t create a path of success.

Who said falling in love can’t set the tempo of going up in life.

Who said the stares can’t show you the road to your next victory.

Who said silence can’t create loud miracles.

So in-between each moment, don’t forget the seconds are long enough for you to breathe!

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I Want To

Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. What if I want to go more past those miles? Life is never what it seems. At least I have learnt that in the past few weeks. I had the privilege of taking a step back. To see a bigger picture. Picture of a thousand white roses. Up to date, I hardly understand why I started loving such a phrase. ‘A picture of a thousand white roses’. A friend asked me why I thought people get depressed over small manageable issues. And funny enough my mind was in fact, depressed. I wish I was bold enough to tell that one friend, of my nights, crawled up at edge of my bed, on the floor, the coldness of it all gently warming me up. I wish I had the courage to tell that one friend of the mornings I spend in the shower, with nothing but tears running down. I wish I was bold enough to tell that friend that actually some men cry, get confused, and contemplate suicide more often than not. But what stops them? A hope for a better tomorrow? A prayer silently made in the depths of a man’s deepness? Yet, they wake up, show up to fight another day. I wish that friend saw the tears behind my eyes as I answered that question. You see, depression is never a matter of just a small thing that affects someone. It is the series of small manageable things piercing in the depths of your deepness, drowning you from deep within till the days turn into nights of gasping for a breath, till the nights turn into days of digging inside yourself for just but a smile for others. Yes, for others to see you are okay. You see, every day you wake up knowing you will slit your wrists, cut your ankles, slice up your thighs. But after each day, you go to sleep dreading for tomorrow. Because it starts all over again. A loop of some sorts. You close off, becoming one with music. It keeps one going, I should know. But one thing about thoughts clouding every breath is you just want to feel. It doesn’t matter if its pain, or not. The very essence of dark rooms, solitude, creeps inside you and settles in like a plague. It satisfies you. Even when your phone goes silent for a week, you don’t mind but it eats you up, driving you deeper into the depths of an ocean of solitude. I should know. I wish I told my friend all this and much more, but time is never so generous. Friends seem always busy, even when meeting, just but a few minutes then they are gone. And for those good few minutes, half of them is spent on their phone. You wish your phone was as busy as theirs sometimes. Maybe then you would feel wanted, but for now you are stuck with the coldness slicing through your wrists. You just want to feel, to understand. The feel of being wanted, of being needed. Then the same friends wonder why you rarely go out. It’s perhaps because everyone is always on their phones except you. It’s perhaps because friendship lost meaning along the way. It’s perhaps because people don’t understand friendship anymore.

But what do I know about friendship? I’m just seated here, writing this in my head word by word, as my dear friend chats on the phone even after such a depressing question. I can’t wait to go back my cold, slithering floor, at the edge of my bed, maybe then they will chat with me so vehemently. Maybe I just want to feel more than the depths of an ocean…

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Novelty II

She couldn’t keep her eyes off him, as she walked away. Something about him made it special. Perhaps a realization would dawn on her later, that her world is sequentially different without him. It was what she wanted at the time. She was tired of all the fighting, not the fighting for parts. A need to stop the bleeding, she was tearing up from within. Her walls were thick enough, never letting anything through. His love porous-ed its way in, deep into heart void heart. Like a dawn of a rainy day, the spasms of rays light up the sky. Creating spatial rainbows amidst tiny droplets of rain, what is rain really? She asked herself. What’s the use of flying yet chained? She questioned herself. She was chained to her heart, locked down by blindness. She cried for a well written story, not an unfolding one. She was but un-bothered that her story was still being written. Her heart felt cold with each drop of tear that stretched down her cheeks. He disappeared into his dark-ended street. Both oblivious of the street lights, trying to pave him an obvious path back home. What would be the odds? Of both their tears hitting the rugged uneven ground? He would have caught her tears, if she gave him a chance.

But in reality, it was she that needed a chance to save them. But she saved herself. A life of resilience and building from nothing wasn’t in her to-do list. A life laid out already was hers for the taking, a king, a prince of charms, or a well written story ready for her to be edited in. And in that moment, as the rain died down tired from all the down pouring, her phone rang. That well written story, waiting to be picked up. She broke down, tears torrentially pouring down. She knew then that all her walls had broken down, from inside, waiting for his love to do the inevitable, of leaving with him.

For her, as he walked away, she understood his story was just being unfolded. And she would have been beautifully written with it, not edited.

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Novelty

…He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment. As he walked away from everything he ever knew. As the chills made his spine their rocking chair, something beautiful happened in that dark moment. Willing to go the distance, he traded on. His heart sunk in, his brain shut down. The rush of a warm summer’s breeze filled the air. Even the rain wasn’t coming that evening. It knew better. Just the cover of light clouds dancing on a dark evening sky represented it. Then the street lights came on.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to love past the rejection. The fresh breathe of the first evening star took away the first tear off his right eye. All around were fellow living things, oblivious of the raging emotions crawling their way up his veins. But at the end of each step forward, he felt a sense of relief. His undying spirit: fighting on against oblivion of loathness. To him, she symbolized perfection; an embodiment of richness in serene beauty and breathtaking curvaceous smile.

He wished someone came around and taught him, at that moment, how to breathe in darkness and see the beauty of light seeping through the cracks, to feed his empty basement of a heart. So that one day, he may look up with his teary eyes, and smile.

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That Tired Bench

In a clogged world full of noise, I just want to be immersed in silence.

The depressing, dark-filled silence.

For not many find beauty in it, but agony and pain.

But what is a world without pain?

Would we know love if there was no hate?

Would we know what it felt like being complete without being broken?

So in the middle of that evening, I sat on that silent bench.

As people rushed to catch their evening bus home,

Seemingly to their ever happy homes.

I knew why darkness was beautiful, at that moment.

I understood why the best of time comes after the worst.

It wasn’t the cold evening breeze that made itself felt,

But the promise of a beautiful starry night revealed itself on the horizon.

So I sat there, on a freezing bench, breathing in sets of fresh air with mounts of foulness in it.

It must have silently seen worse days pass by, as I had seen better days come to pass.

And grew tired of them.

Nothing is ever perfect, not even the sincerest smiles of the universe.

Its flaws ensure its beauty never runs dry.

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Slow Down

Slow down, I just want to get lost in your soul. Drown myself inside your love. Hold you tight deep in the night. I want to taste the saltiness of your soul until it becomes my drug. You have no idea what it feels like for you to lay on my chest and the scent of your body intoxicates me. A point where it’s addictive with just the sound of your slow breathes. So before the skies open up in the morning, slow down and let me embrace your love.

As the morning dawns on your sweaty fragranced velvet skin, remind me to trace the edges of your soul on it. Remind me to take my lips for a walk on your boulevard of luscious soft lips; dipped in silk-honey. Your full energy makes broken beautiful; the woman with a broken heart. Take it slow; let me taste the cracks and broken pieces on my tongue. So that as I bleed, I’m reminded of how beautifully broken you are to me. My scars will heal, with just the smear of your silk-honey on my tongue.

And forever I’ll cherish you, because I’d know what it feels like to be hurt, to be broken, and to be beautiful all at once through you, on my tongue every day. So slow down love, remember that reason that led you to my embrace.

 

And when you do find it, let it out with soft moans through your warm lips as I slowly trace your body with my lips. So that when i do reach your lips, it’ll feel like standing with you beneath the stars.

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